Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: pixie on April 17, 2013, 08:50:45 AM
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Since the start of all this menopause, I have become much more aware of my own mortality and having health problems etc and having to deal with things I may not be fit enough to do myself. Sorry to be so doom and gloom! My sister came round last night and she was telling me I need to have a contingency plan for if I go into hospital etc, which is what she always does! She doesn't have any immediate family, but a partner who was away when she in hospital, for the day. She has good friends and so do I. She was telling me that she had been to see our uncle, who is 81years old and has had bowel cancer, and he is looking after my aunty who is chair bound, following a stroke. She was saying how cheerful he was about doing it. Anyway, we all have worries about coping with advancing years in one way or another. When I was on the day case, they didn't let any relatives or friends in at all during the procedure, but there were patients in there in pain and frightened. I don't find it hard to chat to strangers, and sometimes we have to even rely on people we don't know for support. I don't know if its part of the surgery recovery, but find I am thinking about all sorts of things like this and trying not to dwell on it, because I don't want to get depressed. I never used to think about all this until the menopause. Do you think its part and parcel of it and preparing oneself for retirement and old age? I am noticing it even more being at home because my mind isn't very occupied! :)
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I think we all get like this as we get older. It's really a good job we can't see into the future.
I worry about my own health but I worry more about my husband's and my mother's and my ability to cope if anything was to happen.
I watch my mum at nearly 91 struggle and loose her independence. I just don't want to get as old as that.
I can't remember the last time I felt really well and energetic and it worries me that this is it......Will I always feel this way.
Happy days.....I sound as cheery as you.
Just wanted to say you are not alone with these worries.
Honeyb
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I dont know about meno as Ive been postmeno for 16 years Im 59 in June
I now Im scared now and worry I think Ive got about 5 more years at most looking Ok
Ive got about 10 more years being able to go places do tihngs and thats as long as I keep well
I worry say 15 years and I will be really old What happens if somehting happens to Geoffrey
I never thought abut these tings till I hit 57 and over the last 2 years its got worse
Im not boasting but its genetic I dont look my age I can pass easy for 50 IM size 12 dead fashionable
Today boot legs jeans long white Zara blouse multi coloured scarf and red Doc marten Maty Janes shoes in 5/3
I dont look like Mutton and I know I look good with my Brown hair with bright red not orange but red streaks
But I know how old I am IM scared to plan now I think but what if I sometimes sit and think OK 15 years
What was I doing over the last 15 how quick did they go well I can only say since 2006 the years have flown
1 year seesms now like 6 months Its mid April seems like a month ago we were celebrating NYEve its frightening
I also agree not working Im retired gives you too much time to think
All my pals work I dont drive trains OK but busses are rubbish I hate my Vol job on a Thursday its lonely
I tok this job in Lifeline (ozz version of samaritans) and except for the Manager Im on own in the shop
Ive voled before in Hospitals and loved it but I cant get back to the Major hospital I did it before weve moved
I worry about Dad in UK 84 in June hes moved in to a lovely flat his owns for sale this is rented commuity health care
He has a lovely ground floor flat everyone over 60 hes got his car hes got a lady friend he sees almost everyday
Hes as happy as Larry but I worry and over everything so NO your not alone wot happens if this wot happens if that
I never felt like this before Im used to planning now I think wot happens if Im not well next year we are touring EU!
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Hi Honeybun,
I am going to enjoy being with mum whilst she is still here. She is frail but they are very tough characters. After 5 times in hospital falls, fractures, norovirus (all last year), she has made a lot of progress. At the time she refused to have a stick - typical - and refused carers or occupational therapists. The reason being because some of them were being more of a hindrance than a help. She resented having people in moving mats etc, when she knew where the risks in her house were. She said they treated her as if she didn't have a brain.
At the time I was concerned because I had to clear up blood etc due to her fall and thought she would need to be 'looked after'. I was really worried it was going to happen again, when I least expect it. However, she is now walking down to the high street with her pull along trolley, doing very small amounts of shopping. Sometimes she has lunch delivered and watches a film in the afternoon, quizzes, deal etc.
This is what she likes. I generally do things to fit in with her now, due to her busy routine, including roller skating!!!!! ;D x
Hi Suzy - just going to take each day as it comes. Been sitting about at home too long after this op. Need to get out more. ;) x
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Pixie, I was so relieved to see your post - I thought I was quietly going crazy lately, with the way I've been thinking. I'm 52 in June and I've just been having so many thoughts about getting ill, dying, being stuck in a Home unable to do anything, husband having illness/accident/dying - you name it, it's been on my mind! I'm getting teary just writing this! Honestly, I'm fed up with being like this but can't seem to break out of it. Do others feel that everyone else is going round perfectly well and happy, not having panics about things like we do? I posted earlier about an awful feeling I've been getting in my head, which is obviously heralding a stroke or tumour at the very least.... How do we buck ourselves up and start living again? ???
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I can relate to this as well and I think it is just another manifestation of anxiety really.
I've got a book on the menopause written by Dr. Miriam Stoppard and she mentions that feelings of pessimism and despondency are common at this time. I know it's hard to deal with and isn't rational but it still feels real!
Hopefully as we go through this stage in our lives the intense worrying passes, certainly some old people I know don't seem to have a care and in the world despite all sorts of health issues, so maybe a sort of calmness comes with age?
Take care and wishing you well.
K.
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Yep. We meet our mortality. I think having key <searches for word> >:( .... agencies set up helps. I have a good working relationship with both my GP and dental surgeon; I have neighbours who will help with the poultry if push comes to shove; I have e-mail alerts from AgeUK ......... we have made a Will which needs up-dating ...... but I worry, I wake feeling sick in case anything happens to DH :-\
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My mother says that you stop worrying about this kind of thing as you get older.
She was very bothered with "nerves" / anxiety as she went through meno. By the time she reached her early 60s it passed. She has done things that I never thought she could as I remember her life being very restricted when I was a child.
It gives me hope that I will be the same.
Honeyb
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So glad you posted this. I'm a terrible worrier about getting older, especially in the middle of the night. I find myself comparing peoples ages and counting up how much longer I have to be well and healthyish! Daft I know and I can't even say its something that has happened since I've got older, I'm 51 now, cos I've been doing it since my 20s.
Not sure if its because I've always had a lot elderly relatives whom I've watched grow older and die over the years, but it bothers me a lot. :(
I try not to dwell on it as I have an 8 year old and she does keep me busy and give me a young outlook on life which helps a lot. But, I am the age that I am and its scary :(
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Yes, this is exactly how I have been feeling and thinking as well. Time seems to be running out. I have had the same thoughts as Suzi about how quickly the last 10/15 years have gone and how the next 10/15 will fly by just as fast. It's HORRIBLE to think that my time is limited.
Also, I definitely notice how age has affected me physically. I struggle now to paint my toenails :( have to ask my daughter to do them. It's not JUST the whole bending double thing that hurts my back, it's the eyesight and the non-steady hand. Combination of all three. A small thing but significant.
Yup again I feel as Suzi does, for how much longer will I be attractive to the opposite sex? I look ok atm, as long as I SMILE - that lifts my face!! I cant go round grinning like a loon the whole time though.
Arrgggh, yes it's horrible. I guess the answer is to seize the day and do now what you CAN do before it's too late. Sometimes easier said than done though with time/finance restrictions.
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I'm 60 this year. That's my Life nearly done :-\ .......... ::) - unless I live longer than any of my rellies have done ......
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CLKD.
Your mum is over 80 so you will have a lot more time left yet.
We really should try to make the most of every day but sometimes it's really hard.
Just need to try harder I guess.
As I have said before I worry more about OH than me. I just can't imagine being on my own and that is enough to keep me awake at night.
He is diabetic and has some other health issues. My daughter tells me I fuss him far too much. It's like having another child. If he goes out on his own I have to make sure he has snacks and a drink. I also make sure he has tissues and his mobile. I know it's totally ridiculous but I just can't seem to stop myself because I know he will go out with none of the things he may need. Perhaps it's a control thing and if I feel all basis are covered then there is less chance of things going wrong.
He has the diabetes and I have the worry.
Honeyb
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I think we all worry about getting older. My Dad died when he was 58yrs and as I was 57 a few weeks ago it set my mind thinking about it.
I just give myself a good talking to and try to live each day as it comes, because although my Dad died young, my Mom is in her 91st year now and with a bit of luck my life should balance out and I suppose it depends on whose genes I inherited.
My youngest Son, just says well Mom when your times up your times up. Thats the young for you.
I worry more about my OH Honeybun, k is 15years older than me, he was 72 last week, although he never acts his age. He has a few health problems cropping up now, type 2 Diabetes and leg problems. He gets annoyed when I worry about him.
Mazzy ::)
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I have been like that since peri meno started last year, the counselling didnt help, the ad's take the edge of it but every now and then it hits me like a ton of bricks im going to die im going to die, my gp asked why i felt like that i told her because its true i am going to die she couldnt answer me! Ita awful and when it comes into my head i have a panic attack which of course makes me think im dying! i do try and push it away but its a struggle.xx
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I think we are bound to feel a bit like this - whether men or women. It's like when you have a nasty dental appointment booked or some surgery to be done. When the appointment is months away we hardly think about it but as it draws closer then it becomes much more difficult to ignore it. We know that we have had more years behind us than in front so that sort of narrows the focus a bit. It is inevitable that we are going to die but instead of making us live each day positively it seems to send us into a depressing spiral of fright! I worry about how my family will be without me (sounds big-headed!) and I hate the thought that I wont be there for my sons when they get old and ill - now, how daft is that!!!
As my mum and dad used to say - worry about the things you can change not the things you cant.
Taz x
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your right taz its fear out of control and there is nothing can be done about it , my feelings of doom have not been helped this weekend as my brother who is 45 had a minor stroke he is 2 years younger than i am.
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I know how you feel, walking the dog - my brother is 15 years younger than me and he had a stroke last year. He's made a good recovery, but it really gets to you! And Taz2, I was worrying only the other day about who would be there for my kids and grandkids when they get old - scared they might be all alone! I'm really losing the plot...
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Its not nice to think about is it? :(
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Blimey, what a cheerful lot we all are :-\ my uncle has vascular dementia and it worries me that I may get dementia at some time (I know of someone else who has to be restrained at night and when I said well what about sedatives, they said oh no, they don't have any effect). Yippee! I am much more conscious of ageing now and it's comforting in a kind of way to read the posts on this thread and know I am not alone in this. I have no kids and when OH goes, no rellies really although his kids are, I suppose, fond of me but I'm not their mum. I have good mates but where we live, a lot of the people we know are older and I do have the thought that if I was left here all by myself, I might end up with no-one here to relate to at all. Which is a bit scary :-X I've said for a long while that I have no wish to make really old bones and if I get to 70, then that's fair enough. I'll be honest that my diet varies - some days no fruit and veg at all - and because we have just had visitors, I've drunk more wine than I usually do. But normally I am a creature of moderation. It's the losing my mind that would scare me. My uncle had a top job, they say use your brain and he did but look what he has. :'( Not a good thought.
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It's being so cheerful that keeps us going ::)
It's also because we are a caring bunch. Some are Mums/Grandmums who have spent their life caring for others. Some of us are without children but have good partners/hobbies which for me, makes it more difficult, because without DH :'( .......... he won't discuss it, yesterday I said "I can't even change a light bulb" and was told "get someone in to do it" - but that would then mean I would have to be socialbe at a time when I, as I told him, "will be burying myself into the duvet in the corner of a room". He doesn't dwell, is that a Man Thing >:( ......... :bang:
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Lucky Stone - vascular dementia is slightly different from other dementias as it is caused by poor blood flow to the brain - this often is a side effect of diabetes which causes heart problems. My mum had vascular dementia and no amount of keeping her brain active etc. would have changed it.
CLKD - you should practice light bulb changing while he is out. This way he need never know that you can do it but you will be safe in the knowledge that you can.
Taz x
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I can do most things myself. I had to learn because OH worked abroad so much. Also my dad died when I was 19 and my mother cancelled out for years so I was pretty self sufficient.
My advice would be please learn to do things, be it a light bulb a plug, finances...
....I hate being dependant on anyone when I am more than capable.
Honeyb
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IM a Pink toothbrush your a blue toothbrush will you marry me one day
No just look at poeple now differently look at young couples and think Id give anything to go around again with Bobbles
Look at kids and think by the time they are my age I will be dust I know its stupid and a waste of time
Im lucky to be here so many arent but as Ive said before we KNOW there are people worse off than us
But knowing that and feeling bad for them doesnt make our pain any the less
LIKE MY TRIGGER THUMB not bent it in a week cant now its rigid NOW I know 3 People pals with Cancer
I worry for them pray fro them but even so to me my Thumbs stiffness paon iin palm is scarey my pain is that mine
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Oooh - Suzi - I empathise so much with your post. I have things going on in my life that worry ME (long-term health issues for myself, my Mum, my father-in-law ...). I KNOW there are people worse off, but when I'm having a bad day, when it's all getting on top of me, when someone at work is whining (again!!!) about some pathetic piece of office politics and I have to deal with it, I just wonder when will it be MY turn for some support?!! My 'troubles' may be trivial, but they are what I have to deal with - I can feel sorry for myself and still feel for those who are genuinely worse off than me.
I'm not sure if that made any sense at all - it's so hard to put it into words. I do think it's part of getting older though - we spend so much time caring for/about other people and feel guilty about caring for ourselves.
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It made plenty of sense .......
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My aunt has vascular dementia. She has been in hospital for a while after breaking her hip.
It healed without an operation although one leg is shorter than the other. She has been deemed competent by the hospital and is being sent home with a care package. She is an accident waiting to happen but will not consider a care home.
She had an evil tongue before and now she is just foul. I have backed off so hard.....I have one difficult old lady to look after I just could not cope with any more. The trouble is the whole family have done the same so it's down to her Jehovah's witness friends to deal with her. I wonder how long that will last.
Not long me thinks.
I so do not want to get like that.
Honeyb
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Now I can definitely change lightbulbs. In fact, I can wire them up too. Ok I can only do it on a carnival float but is a start eh ;D ;D
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Bet the Float wins every time ;D
Thanks for the up-date on your Aunt Honeybun. Sitting back is OK - you have plenty enough on *your* plate. Let her JW friends help out. ;) but don't go rushing in if they don't, get social services involved. She has made her choices, they might not be what your Mum or you want but they are HER choices.
If DH stops breathing at night I nudge him ........... ;)
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I managed to wire up a new dimmer switch - never done before and will not attempt again, too scary! I had to switch the electricity off but it worked. Can wire a plug and have mended the toilet twice and avoided huge plumber costs. :D
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Oooh - Suzi - I empathise so much with your post. I have things going on in my life that worry ME (long-term health issues for myself, my Mum, my father-in-law ...). I KNOW there are people worse off, but when I'm having a bad day, when it's all getting on top of me, when someone at work is whining (again!!!) about some pathetic piece of office politics and I have to deal with it, I just wonder when will it be MY turn for some support?!! My 'troubles' may be trivial, but they are what I have to deal with - I can feel sorry for myself and still feel for those who are genuinely worse off than me.
I'm not sure if that made any sense at all - it's so hard to put it into words. I do think it's part of getting older though - we spend so much time caring for/about other people and feel guilty about caring for ourselves.
My MUM used to say when my Dad would say YOMA theres plesnty of people worse off than you
Shed retort OK Jack go find one put them in front of me and let me have a bloody good laugh
She wasnt beeing mean she was saying the same as me my pains just that mine
yet I am able to understand other peoples pain and pray for them wish them back to good heslth
But it doesnt make me feel any better about me?
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Wow Pixie and Evenstar I am impressed. I wouldnt touch electricity but I have fixed the toilet a few times and unblocked a drain. By hand ???
HB I agree with CLKD. No way should you take on your aunt as well.
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I have no intention of getting involved with my aunt's care in any form.
As I have said I am not alone in this. My sister tried to help but now has realised it's far too much so it's down to social services. I don't think it will last long. She will not manage and will end up back in the system. My sis had found her a wonderful care home and my cousin had visited to check it out as she is a sister in a nursing home and knew what to look for. My aunt refused and now thinks everyone was conspiring against her and is stealing from her. Time to step back......very far back.
I have enough problems coping with my own mother.
Honeyb
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I sat and gazed at DH earlier today, think it freaked him out ;D ..... told him I was absorbing memories ;)
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Was he doing something memorable CLKD? ;D
Not much point in worrying too much about what is ahead. What will be will be I guess.
Honeyb
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Nope. Dozing on the patio after lunch ;D .... but I do worry :-\ :sigh:
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Crikey - it's taken me an age to read this thread.
I too worry about my mortality - it crosses my mind that when my Mum & Dad were around I always had someone I could turn to. Now, I'm at the top of the ladder, my parents did the best they could in giving me the building blocks of life - I loved them dearly. I too have moments when I feel "maudlin" and worry what is ahead for me, as a teenager I used to have horrendous nightmares and wake in a cold sweat because I was afraid of death. It is something we cannot change or stop happening - as we were born then we will die ..... I just hope that whichever way I am taken, I don't suffer like my parents did.
I refuse to dwell on what 'may' happen to me - it is wasted energy which can be used more positively.
Meggie
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You are right Meggie, I don't dwell on stuff but just have the odd moment. I'm not actually scared of dying although want to live for a bit longer if possible ::) but one thing I am is pretty capable with managing things. I do our finances anyway and can wire a plug and light socket, change a wheel on the car, wallpaper and paint and can often work out what to do when something breaks. But then I lived on my own for 11 years and had to (my dad also died young and it's amazing what you have to do in an emergency). I do rely now more on OH because he will do things rather than me, it's a man thing, but I don't think I have forgotten how, just a bit rusty.
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CLKD if you keep this up you will worry the poor man into an early grave.
What's the point. I really don't mind the dying but it's the manner in which I get there that concerns me.
Now I am going to ask a thorny question.
Euthanasia.......how do you feel about it. Do you think we are entitled to end our lives in the way we want or have our loved ones make the decision for us.
Perhaps that's a different topic on its own.
Honeyb
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Don't worry HoneyBun - he is quite capable of 'shutting' off ;D
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I was so pleased to read this thread and know it's not just me with these fears.
Just lately I feel really scared of anything happening to hubby and being left alone.
I have fibromyalgia so everythings a chore to do, some things impossible!
I can't drive so would be housebound if left on my own. I've gotten more panicky about it recently
as hubby was in hospital for 10 days, felt so lonely and had a few teary nights, I did cope though
with my daughters help, but she has a life of her own and I feel bad having to ask to be taken food shopping etc. I'm seriously thinking of moving from my home into a bungalow as I think
it would be easier to cope with the running of it. I do get very stressed at the thought of one day being alone, I've no friends so it's hard.
Ann x
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Ann - although it is very difficult with the pain and fatigue that fibro can bring you have got time to change your circumstances and, for instance, make friends. Try not to isolate yourself but maybe join a group of like minded people. In this way should something happen to your husband then you will still have people you can turn to. Friends don't just materialise you need to meet them. I know this is difficult but it isn't impossible - it will be like you taking a bit of control over your future. Is there anything you are interested in or is there even a fibro group near to you?
Taz x
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Hi Taz
There isn't a fibro group near me. :( I have a few interests but I can't drive so I can't
get to any classes or such, can't get a bus as bus stop too far from me to walk to.
I am very isolated as live in a small village with no neighbours going by..
Ah well no use worrying I suppose, just go with the flow. ::)
Ann x
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Ann if you are considering moving to a bungalow would this be a good time to start that process? You could go somewhere that isnt as isolated, nearer your daughter maybe? Of if not that, at least somewhere that you could get out to see people and do things.
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Wow Pixie and Evenstar I am impressed. I wouldnt touch electricity but I have fixed the toilet a few times and unblocked a drain. By hand ???
HB I agree with CLKD. No way should you take on your aunt as well.
Its actually not that hard once someone has shown you how to do it. :) Think I'd rather wire up than unblock a toilet ;D
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Ah but would I remember what I had been shown? :(
It was a drain I unblocked. Not pleasant but nowhere near as bad as a toilet :o
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I wouldn't be able to remember what I was shown. Many years ago in my teens I was able to do 'all that', i.e. wire a plug, unblock drains, re-site a ball valve in the cistern ........ but I have a husband who does ::) and simply tells me to 'get a man in' if he dies
>:(
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On a slightly different tack about getting older - about 6 years ago I decided I would like a motor/camper van so we spent 3 years looking, debating, deciding - then didn't buy one for several reasons, logical at the time. 6 months ago I was left a nice sum of money which went into the slush fund. Yesterday I found a small camper which would suit us better than those we looked at previously but DH has said 'no'. We have to wait until we see what is left when Mum has used her Pension etc., but I feel that she may require long-term nursing care, or I will be too old to enjoy a camper if she lives to be 100 ::) :-\ ........ he hasn't noticed but I am not speaking to him this afternoon :'(
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I remember you talking about this before CLKD. Have a look back at the "caravans" thread started by Babypink a while ago just to make sure you really do want one!
Taz x
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I think about mortality all the time.
Never used to cross my mind until OH was nearly killed by the NHS six years ago and has been suffering the consequences ever since - am I bitter about it? Yes I am, even though it only makes me miserable. :'( He has to have another operation this year and I just keep thinking that I will be left on my own (bit selfish maybe).
This was supposed to be our time, but due to his health problems we can hardly ever go out and going away anywhere is a complete no no, so I just get to thinking that this is it and wondering how and when the end will come and which of us will go first.
I don't want to end up in some grotty hospital ward in pain sitting in my own mess :(
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I wouldn't be able to remember what I was shown. Many years ago in my teens I was able to do 'all that', i.e. wire a plug, unblock drains, re-site a ball valve in the cistern ........ but I have a husband who does ::) and simply tells me to 'get a man in' if he dies
>:(
I have a husband who says he going to do things then doesn't so I find it much quicker to just do it myself without asking him in the first place ;D ;)
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He's not daft is he?? :lol:
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He's not daft is he?? :lol:
No, he has me trained well I think ::)
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I probably ought to perfect the poor helpless woman act. Do something hopelessly in front of him and wait for him to take over ;D
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Nobody showed me how to do it, just talked to the man in local iron mungers. Learnt plugs and ceiling rose at school. I won't mention what I had to do with loo but was chuffed I did it and spent nothing.
I feel happier living on a bus route and on the level, when old. Got circle of reliable friends but strangers can be v helpful just need to keep an open mind and help
others too.
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I can see our time slipping away sometimes: DH has been retired 18 months now :o ...... and our feet haven't touched the ground ;D
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I used to (and still do sometimes) about dieing, when I was younger I would content myself by saying I'm too young for this pain to be anything serious lol, but as I get older it's getting harder to say that (I'm 52, and jusr starting the meno) I lost my 1st husband a few years ago , he was only 51, and when I was at his bedside saying our goodbyes I kept saying you can't leave me I can't even change a plug, he was an electrical engineer, so i'd never had to even learn, but it's amazing how you adapt if you have to.
Now i've met and married my new hubby I've got the worries again, I want as much time as possible with him.
I used to ask my nanna (she lived till 87, a very full and active life as well) if she was scared to die, she would say, no i'm not bothered I've done most things I wanted to do, and if I havn't by now i've only myself to blame.
xx
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Both my Grandparents lived until their mid nineties. My Nan was always saying things like' Oh this will be my last Christmas' !! bless her
She was fine until she got into her nineties and things really started to ache and get her down. She used to say she'd had enough then and was ready to go :(
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I want to do more. I'm not content with my life. But I dont seem to have the will or the money :(
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I want to do more. I'm not content with my life. But I dont seem to have the will or the money :(
I have the will but definitely not the money!! ;D
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What is it you would like to do Millie if you had either will or money.
I find my anxiety is very limiting. Lots of the stuff I want to do costs nothing.
I have never had any great desire to travel the world but I would like to be able to socialise again.
I also lack the energy. I make plans in my head especially in the evening when I am feeling reasonable but when morning comes they just fade away.
Honeyb
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Honeybun - I am a different person by T-time, so have had to learn not to say 'yes' to anything for the following day but to wait until morning - to see if I am less anxious. It rules my Life at times :-\ ......... but acceptance is the key, although i want to visit Italy I know that the axniety makes it impossible. I have to remind myself that I went - OK I was 18 - but I have done that. UK holidays are OK ........ lots to see and do. I do feel as if time is passing me by but DH and I are working on our plans for the next 6 months ;)
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I also lack the energy. I make plans in my head especially in the evening when I am feeling reasonable but when morning comes they just fade away.
Honeyb
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I find this as well. It is strange that I always feel better at night time and think that nothing is beyond me but in the morning it takes me all my time just to get out of bed and get going. ..........
Bramble
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It's so hard. I am now not making any plans or letting anyone down. I wait and see how I feel in the morning before making any plans.
I call it being spontaneous......or a bloomin coward depending on your point of view.
Honeyb
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Spontaneous sounds good, proactive even 8)
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Italy is the best place especially Sorrento, Amalfi,Pompei etc. I am sure you would be looked after there. The people are wonderful :)
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On a slightly different tack about getting older - about 6 years ago I decided I would like a motor/camper van so we spent 3 years looking, debating, deciding - then didn't buy one for several reasons, logical at the time. 6 months ago I was left a nice sum of money which went into the slush fund. Yesterday I found a small camper which would suit us better than those we looked at previously but DH has said 'no'. We have to wait until we see what is left when Mum has used her Pension etc., but I feel that she may require long-term nursing care, or I will be too old to enjoy a camper if she lives to be 100 ::) :-\ ........ he hasn't noticed but I am not speaking to him this afternoon :'(
OK its YOUR MONEY you can always sell the camper IF MUM needs help
Whats the point of having extra dosh sitting in bank getting what 1% interest if that
What for we have 1 life and as I said to our Tish this am its scarey to think we are (some of us)
Nearer 80 than 40 (nearly for me) So just chat top DH say this is what YOU want for the 2 of you for NOW!
Just a thought did hubbie really want the camper things last time? Did he come up with the Logical reasons why not?
If so maybe he doesnt really fancy it? big hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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HB I am the same with the morning/afternoon feeling. I make plans that come to nothing because of my anxiety and my listlessness/apathy. Like CLKD I feel that time and life is slipping away.
I wish I KNEW what it was that I want to do, that would help. I want to do so much. Travel around the UK, go across Scotland on the train that travels from Mallaig to the other side. See so much. But half the time I dont even leave the armchair as I get addicted to the Internet.
Got to go now. Stuff to do today. Mustnt waste more time on here.
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Yep SuziQ we had *that* conversation ;)
I can plan but then my heart begins to race and my gut wrench with anxiety :-\ ...... which is why self catering worked for me and now I can go to small guest houses or really large Hotels!