Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Focus on January 22, 2019, 08:46:04 PM
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Ha ha ha...I think I might have found a solution to my clothes woes!!
I was really missing being able to wear my lovely clothes. I'm a super youthful, modern classic type dresser: trainers, skinny jeans, very short skirts, shorts, playsuits, oversize jumpers and scarves, big hoop earrings kinda style.
Over the past few months I've been reduced to black leggings because of the flooding and clots.
And I hate it. I utterly hate it. I work in fashion, so it's like a big part of my identity has been taken away from me.
But a fashion blogger has just posted a pair of black, faux leather paper bag waist shorts. They'll be plastic, right? So any flooding won't show through...
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Not that i would wear it now but i love the look of the paper bag waist. :)
Due to my problem i now only wear skirts which i've worn for several years now. It took me some time to adapt from my favorite clothes which weren't often skirts at the time.
If you find that you can't go back to what you used to wear my advise is to put the clothes out of sight so you can't feel bad and then if necessary have a big heave ho. It makes you feel better.
Gangan x
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Gangan, am I never going to be able to wear a lot of my clothes again because of this? :'(
I love them, I have some really beautiful pieces...
What about a wedding dress next year?
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Gangan, am I never going to be able to wear a lot of my clothes again because of this? :'(
I love them, I have some really beautiful pieces...
What about a wedding dress next year?
I looked with my daughter for her wedding dress a couple of years ago. It sounds like anything fitted and pale might not do. At the time we were looking there were some very flared shorter colourful dresses in fashion where you could wear a thick pad that wouldn't be seen to catch any flooding. Sorry i realise that thick pad is not what you want to hear right now but for your one special day get what you want even if it is within limits and sod this flooding problem.
My hairdresser had a designer friend in the fashion world and had a bespoke wedding dress made. Would that be an idea ? She is a bit different and out there anyway !The dress was made as a sample in deep purple and to her own design spec so didn't cost her the earth. Her whole wedding was a bit different but sounded thoughtful and fun without being tacky and too themed.
Can you have any of your special pieces changed so that you can wear them in a different way ?
Don't lose your identity but create a new one. :) I've got plain skirts for practical jobs and colourful ones for going out so i feel better. It's not the old me but i just have to think differently.
Gangan x
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I've just spent the past three and a half years creating a new identity (which I totally love) after my XH left for someone much, much younger. I put my heart and soul into it. Gave away half my clothes. I don't want to have to find yet another identity.
I want my sexy clothes and underwear back. My fiancé loves how confident I am, and this is wrecking it, and destroying me in the process. It's turning me into a self loathing bitch who will do anything to stop the ******* periods. Even if it means starving my body into submission.
I don't want to wear a dark colour on my wedding day because of this. I know the dress i want to wear. It's a very sleek, minimal, 1930s style satin dress.
I'm small in height and very small in proportions (a UK size six or eight, US size two or four). I look totally drowned if I'm not wearing very, very fitted and sleek clothes.
And a tea dress would suit where we're getting married AT ALL. We don't want to have to look for and pick another venue. The one we had picked was PERFECT for both of us.
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I'm sorry i've not read all your posts to know your whole situation. I know how much a wedding means having recently gone through it with my daughter who cherished every little detail. Plus all the forward planning which you have already got in place.
I really don't know what else to suggest at the moment.
Take Care of yourself.
Gangan X
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It's OK. I didn't mean to snap at you.
I just hate my body so intensely at the moment. I'm so angry at it. I feel so betrayed by it.
There's nobody I can talk to about this. About the physical stuff, yes, for sure. But my fiance doesn't understand how my GP just lets me carry on bleeding without trying to make it stop.
But how I feel about it all? I can't talk to anyone about that.
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But my fiance doesn't understand how my GP just lets me carry on bleeding without trying to make it stop.
Have you seen a consultant about this flooding ? would your GP refer you ? If not could you go privately a GP can't refuse you a private referral. The GP would have to act on anything a consultant said who may have some answers.
Gangan X
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I've had a consultation at the Boots contraceptive clinic, which was brilliant.
This morning I am going to see a sexual health clinic for an appointment. They were brilliant on the phone and said they will also refer me to their menopause clinic.
I have prepared a list of questions about medication for them. Some are the same as I asked at the Boots clinic, but I just want to see what they say back. I seem to be getting slightly different answers from whoever I talk to, so I just want to get some sort of aggregate answer from a few different sources. And then I'll make my own decision.
I can't afford to go private.
I made a timeline and added in the medication I've been taking. That's helped calm my nerves a bit.
I think the 'just being left to get on with it' is probably a common experience for women going through this whole thing. Doctors can't really seem to do much as there are so many variables.
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Oh that all sounds like something positive. You end up piecing together your own jigsaw.
I'd push the doctor for referral if you think you still need to as well.
I don't like to think of you punishing yourself when you have a lovely occasion to look forward to next year.
Gangan X
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Good luck, Focus :-*
Conolly X
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Thank you my lovely friends.
Back from my appointment. Have to say, very, very impressed. This was a doctor specialising in contraception, and boy did she know her stuff.
She really heard that I wanted to control the bleeding more that anything at the moment - which I do. It's wrecking my mental health and my life. Was shaking really badly as I told her and tearful as well.
So she looked at my symptoms on the Loestrin 20 and the Cerelle. I'd been really careful to note down was was happening as i was taking them: breakthrough bleeds, heaviness, PMS symptoms, etc.
She said that POPs would give you the highest chance of breakthrough bleeding, and that she thought I hadn't been given a strong enough dose of the Loestrin to start with. So she gate me Loestrin 30.
I can stay on that until I'm 50. And then there's a POP with the exact same Norethisterone as I have at the moment, just at a much, much smaller dose, that I can take after I'm 50.
She also said there was no reason for me not to take the pill, the Tranexamic Acid and the Norethisterone all at the same time, if that's what I wanted to do. I explained about the work situation and she said to play around with the dose of Norethisterone tablets if I wanted to. So if I'm having a heavy bleed at some point while I'm taking the Loestrin 30 and I need to work, she said I knew already that 3 x5mgs a day would totally stop the bleeding. But she said to try maybe 1 x 5mg, or 2 x 5mgs a day to see if that made the bleeding bearable and left me able to work.
I asked her about the Progesterone therapy, and she said she thought that would be too strong for me.
She's also got me a referral to a consultant for fibroids. She made a note that I was not to have an internal examination one because of my PTSD and made sure to tell me there could be oral medication that I could take for the fibroids, if it came to that. The thought of an internal examination/treatment, and there being no option about it, had been making my PTSD much, much worse.
She gave me a box of 3 strips of Loestrin 30 and a box of 63 Norethisterone. She said I could come back and get more Norethisterone if I needed to.
I said having the safety blanket of being able to take the pill *and* Norethisterone, and being able to go back for more if I needed to, was already making a big difference to my state of mind.
I sat and cried with relief before I left.
So I think, between everything, I might at least have a temporary measure to deal with the heavy bleeding. Hopefully at some point in the middle of all of this, I will have gone through the menopause and be through to the other side. Although I won't know for as long as I'm taking contraceptive pills.
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Focus,
I hope that all works for you!
Also, curious if you've ever tried a menstrual cup? I haven't...just heard it can be helpful for heavy flows for some women.
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Thank you.
I haven't. I don't think I could...for the same reason I've never used tampons.
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Oh you are right....so sorry, forgot about that.
Back in my teenage years, I used to wear spandex shorts under my jeans and such when I was dealing with that time of the month (yes it's ALWAYS been awful except on birth control and pregnancy). I didn't wear loose jeans either...they were very fitted but you couldn't see the spandex I had back then. It just provided an extra layer of protection and helped be feel that I was less likely to leak (I had issues wearing tampons back then). Not sure if that would work under some of your clothing items. That and those period panties and hopefully a lighter flow from the new medication on top of what you do might help. Or even better, the medication takes care of it all and you don't have to worry about all the layers of protection by the time the wedding comes along.
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Thank you so much.
It's totally fine, don't worry about not remembering.
I'm hoping this will work. The Loestrin 20 worked for the first month I took it in December, I think. And pretty much for the second month too, except for some breakthrough bleeding. I was able to get through my December contract without having to worry too much.
I also, interestingly, got some very mild PMS symptoms while I was on it...the ones that had disappeared a couple of years ago.
Anyway, we'll see. I'll start them tomorrow.
My fiancé wanted to go out to celebrate our second anniversary. We were thinking of dinner. I suggested two options: one if I was reasonably OK and one if I couldn't really manage going out. He was very happy with either, as long as we could celebrate together. So I might be able to go out to dinner. It's not this Friday evening, but the one after.
Fingers crossed.
I might not be able to wear the super sexy dress he got me for Christmas (a skin tight, bright red number). But I have a lovely dark bronze sequin one he got the year before. It's a bit looser and I might be able to wear it without worrying too much.
We'll see.
It's nice to have things to look forward to again. I've missed that.
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I had a really nice video chat wth my fiancé last night. I explained everything to him about my appointment and the various options I have.
I'm trying as much as I can to keep him in the loop. My normal (previous) modus operandi would have been to find stuff out, sort it, and present it all as a finished and complete thing. I'm very, very private and find it difficult to involve people as I'm either going through the process or working things out. It makes me feel extremely vulnerable.
God, this is all so exhausting. I just want it to be over.