Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: booboo on December 07, 2015, 05:19:55 PM
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I am so sick of struggling with health fears/anx - my mind just goes into overdrive and imagines the worst case scenarios ...I can be ok for a while and its such a huge relief and I can be rational - then something will set me off, it can be stress, something I have read ( and can kind of relate to) or any number of things ... When these fears strike, I try so hard to distract myself but its virtually impossible and exhausting.. I do not classify myself as a hypochondriac & I am not at the docs every other week - its all the thoughts and fears and what ifs & worrying about stuff from the past and thinking I may have harmed myself etc ...I just seem to get over one thing and then its something else, how is it possible to enjoy life when worrying so much.. .. I try to tell myself " life for today" " don't worry about something that has not happened" and " none of us know what is ahead" etc etc - but it doesn't seem to help... I sometimes think I am literally going to go mad....
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You are not alone booboo.
A lot of us suffer from health anxiety.
All part & parcel of the meno.
If you are an anxiety sufferer anyway,like me, it is worse.
Keep posting and get it off your chest. We don't mind at all :hug:X
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You are definately not alone :bighug:
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You are not alone - did you read my mind? I was just thinking similar today, what has happened to me. The slightest thing gets caught in my mind and I am off - it's a feeling of doom that is triggered by a physical 'symptom' and away my mind goes. I also don't visit the GP often, but I did last year and no one could answer what all these little things were about. This year I discovered my hormones are not as they were but still I think that all these little changes are adding up to something BIG and also have that fear of 'am I looking after myself enough' - did I do something wrong?!
Totally mad making. As you say, the times it vanishes are pure bliss and I wonder how the anxiety got a grip of me when it did.
Sending a hug x
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Hi Booboo
No, you're not alone. There's lots of us out there knowing exactly where you're coming from :'(
Libby
x
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not alone, I am taking pills for it now though. All my molehills became mega mountains :-\
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Thank you for replies ladies ..
Its like being in flippin hell - trying to pretend I am feeling ok and putting on a brave face some days and underneath it all, all these morbid thoughts and what ifs are running thru my head & so much negativity.. I practically convince myself of the thing I am worried about & cant stop - will it ever end
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Welcome on board booboo!
Same here too. I have 'what if' gremlins and they a brilliant at leaping to wild and terrible conclusions over the tiniest things - stuff I wouldn't have batted and eyelid at a few years ago. They really get on my nerves!
Galadriel x
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I suffer health anxiety too.
It can lie dormant for months ( as it has for much of this year) but then suddenly rear it's head again ( as it has done now) and convince me I have a terminal illness.
The biggest struggle I have is not wanting to go to the GP, because they may think I'm just anxious, but also feeling terrified of not going, incase I really do have something that needs treating.
I hate it. I know for me it stems from 2 experiences. The first was when my dad got ill, after many years of depression and anxiety. Because of his history, his GP put his symptoms down to anxiety, until he was obviously very seriously ill. He ended up in intensive care, and died after 6 months there.
The second was when I saw my own GP with what she insisted was IBS caused by anxiety. She pushed me onto antidepressants, which I had an horrendous reaction to and led me to a complete breakdown. 6 months later, after I had honestly been to hell and back, I was finally diagnosed with Crohn's disease.
As you can see, I haven't had a great experience with doctors but it's a double edged sword - don't see them and risk becoming ill, or see them and risk being labelled as anxious/hypochondriac.
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It's really weird isn't it. Things that never bothered me when I was younger over the last few years really bother me now. I've been to some pretty remote places and never gave a thought to what would happen if you fell ill, now I don't like to be too far from a hospital!
I think that stemmed from having a bit of a weird time (early meno/stress etc etc) in a remote place and the thought of no medical help nearby made it all so much worse!
Maybe when we are young you just don't think of those things but as you get older and things happen to other people around you or you read stuff in the news you think "what if"...all the flipping time!!!
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It seems to be very common. You are not unusual and not alone.
This won't be helpful unless you can do it (and there is nothing wrong with you if you are not strong enough to do it) but I have found that fighting it makes it worse. when my anxiety decides it wants to be in charge I now try to meet it face to face and go along with it instead of feeling I should be getting the better of it. I sort of say to it 'ok, you've dropped in, I will spend time with you but I will look forward to when you leave', a bit like I would treat a visitor I didn't particularly like. I wouldn't kick them or spit on them or swear at them but I wouldn't give them a lot of attention and I would be glad when they left.
Hope that makes a bit of sense, it sounds terribly waffly :-X
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yes you are not alone hunni!!!!
Im terrible, I can see something on TV or read an article and that's it BOOM! Im off again! and I will not go to the GP...I HATE going there >:(
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Yup me too, I was in a meeting today and started fretting about 'what if's..........' and worrying about things that may not even happen. Catastrophising I think they call it. Drives me batty and then at other times I think 'why on earth were you getting those thoughts from!?'
xxxxx ::)
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Hello booboo and welcome to the forum.
Oddly I don't worry about a variety of health issues and I've had many strange physical things going on during menopause but anything concerning my bowels sends me into a panic. Perhaps I just lack imagination lol. What is even more weird is that the gut illness that I was eventually diagnosed with five years ago is actually better than it has ever been, all those years I just calmly got on with it and it's now I worry! I also have times when I feel good and can't think what all the fuss was about.
I suppose what we are all grappling with is completely irrational making it hard to counter with logic and reason though we still try!
Obviously no answers ladies just sending sympathy and hugs, us fretful folk need all the comfort we can get.
Take care.
K.
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Totally sympathise. When I am 'well' I feel like a different person and find the anxiety lady of the previous day difficult to understand. But when it hits I can have whole weeks of doom and gloom, which then leads to real physical panic attack symptoms [numb left arm/leg, funny feeling in face, heartburn, etc..] I know it is psychosomatic as it all goes when I am busy or distracted.
You have to get a point where you laugh about it - I ****ed both thumbs this week whilst using sewing machine. forgot about it, then stressed about sore thumbs... OH asked if I had actually found a rare disease that started with sore thumbs... For a nano second I actually thought 'Sh**, better look that up...'!!!
Keep busy, exercise and confide in someone close so you can get to the point of making fun of it.
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Hi I find that my mind literally'races'with loads of rubbish then I panic because I think I'm going mad!this can happen sometimes for a few minutes and other times lasts a couple of days! Menopause has a lot to answer for. 😤
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Hi I am another one!!!
I have been to a 2 hour dog training session this morning and was shattered and out of breath after running around a 20 item course, really enjoyed it the dog was brilliant, I was 3 friends so had a little rest inbetween my go, but I have spent all afternoon worrying and googling about heart rate and taking my heart rate because it had gone up a bit, and got jelly legs, I feel like I have just wasted the afternoon
A
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Hii booboo, ive just started counselling for my worrying and negative thoughts. Do you find its worse at night time?? I do but although it dosnt go away the next day it does lift alittle. Sending you a big hug. x
Clio
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Definitely not alone! Many of these posts could be me talking.
I have had general anxiety for over twenty years, followed closely by health anxiety, then along comes good old menopause.
Six years along and it's not getting easier. Way too many symptoms for my crazed mind to deal with now.
It really is hell. And putting on a brave face, pretending to family and friends isn't easy but preferable to the pitying looks if you open up to anyone, where they get that knowing look "she's in menopause" ....... And that includes the Doctors!
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Babyjane......not fighting it sounds like a good idea, i battle with it constantly so will try your method when I next go into panic, I do try to talk and reason with myself. I can be my own best friend and my own worse enemy.
Clio
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If you keep worrying about different things all the time, it might be helpful to look back at previous worries and remind yourself that they were false, so this one probably is too. (Not so good if you worry about the same thing all the time!)
For example, most recently, I have worried about breast cancer, MS, bowel cancer, heart attack, MND, brain haemorrhage, brain tumour and the latest one was stomach cancer. I just point out to myself that the other 'symptoms' went away and I'm not worried about them any more, so the 'symptoms' of this latest 'illness' will probably go away too, and if not, I can go to the GP next week...of course, by next week, I have a new range of symptoms and a new illness to worry about, so I repeat the conversation with myself.
Funnily enough, when I'm really ill, I don't have any health anxiety. I started a cold yesterday (soon as I'd got the Christmas dinner served, I started a sniffle and sore throat!) and am now coughing and sneezing all over the place and not worried about my health at all... It's a solution - of sorts - but I'm not sure I want to live with a permanent cold ::)
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My 82 year old father tells me that we all have to die of something - which of course is true ... However!! he has lived to 82 and never had any ops or serious illness ..
How do we overcome/deal with all the fears/anxiety that we experience in meno - that's what I would like to know
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Well in my case I waited until they overwhelmed me and I had a meltdown which is when I finally asked for help and told my family what was happening. I am fortunate that they are supportive and my GP is helpful.
My son is taking me out on a coffee date on Sunday, just the 2 of us, to have a chat about how he can support me.
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What a lovely son! Well done to him for being so caring. Hope you both have a lovely time.
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Ah, what a thoughtful son. I have one like that and he is very supportive as he has had some anxiety himself. Have a lovely time with him...those moments are so precious for us Mums. X
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Hi
I have this problem too. I frequently find myself browsing sites relating to particular conditions. My particular problem is related to booking holidays/renewing holiday insurance. I have never been seriously ill on holiday but have had several minor episodes which were enough to spoil the trip.
It is really difficult to get appointments at my practice, particularly if you want to see a specific GP. There is no continuity at all. Last time I asked, I was told that I couldn't request a same day as it wasn't urgent but no advance appointments available at all. Try again next week. Their supposed online booking is useless. It just says "no appointments available, please ring the surgery". When I do see someone, it is usually a new doctor and i have only 5 mins to cram it in so come across as nervous. I am reluctant to change GP practice as I suspect that it will be a case of "out of the frying pan......"
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Katejo, can you book 20 min appointments at your surgery? At mine if you want to talk about more than one thing or know it might be a bit involved we're encouraged to book 20 mins. Mind you, how far off they are is another matter!
S x
Don't think so. They used to have notices on the surgery doors to say that only 1 symptom/condition could be considered in each appointment! Not very holistic. I'd be happy to book an appointment 2-3 weeks ahead if i got to see a chosen GP for 20 mins but the practice refuses to do it further than a week. if you don't get one, ring again next week. Back in October, i saw 1 GP who asked me to make an appointment for the following week. I went to reception and was told that I would have to ring on the day. I explained what the GP had said and they grudgingly made an exception.