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Severe health anxiety

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Clair3:
Hi I’m new here and feel so alone. I’m 45 and am pretty sure I’m going through Peri. my periods are fairly regular but are very heavy, they seem to be a couple of days late alternate months but are lasting 8 days where they used to be 5. I’m angry at the drop of a hat and have literally no motivation to do anything at all.  I’m comfort eating because thinking of being healthy seems like too much effort so I’ve gained weight, have random dry patches but the worst thing is that my mental health has gone drastically downhill. I’ve lost any rationality when it comes to bodily symptoms. I’m convinced I’m dying every day and I can’t make any plans because I feel like I will either be dead or battling a terminal illness. I know part of it is a reaction to the fact that my husband has an inoperable brain tumour together with  general anxiety ( that I’m medicated for anyway ) but I just don’t know how to help myself. I’m sorry this is such a miserable post I’d just like to know if anyone else is suffering from this anxiety or how they are helping themselves?  :'(

Flossieteacake:
Hello Clair3 and a warm welcome to the forum. You have such a lot going on so no wonder you are feeling the way you do. I am so sorry to hear such sad news about your husband. Are you getting any support for this? It is a lot for you to take in and to deal with.

It sounds to me like you do have peri symptoms. If anxiety is hormonal related then HRT can be a huge help. Many members have joined the forum due to anxiety and HRT has been a huge help with the anxiety. Would you feel comfortable having a chat to your GP?

Periods can be very erratic in peri too.

SarahT:
Hello Clair
I just wanted to welcome you too. I echo Flossie in saying you have an awful lot going on, I am sorry life is so hard.
Yes, anxiety ( in its many froms) can be a symptom of perimenopause, your existing anxiety may well be worsening because of the hormonal changes.
My anxiety went through the roof with peri. Hrt can indeed help with this and other symptoms too. I have also added  an anti depressant into my regime too.

I would also suggest speaking with a gp to discuss hrt to see if that is a way you may choose to go.
Feel free to.ask any questions or just to ask for some support or  for a rant, this is a great forum for just such things

 take care

DottyD68:
Hi Clair3

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. The health anxiety you describe sounds very much linked to perimenopause from my experience. It will be made worse by the fact your husband is poorly - so sorry to hear about his condition - it must be so tough for you.

When I started the perimenopause journey I had a number of "young" close family and friends diagnosed with a variety of serious (& terminal) conditions over a short period of time and it floored me. I am a very rational person but with each new and varying symptom I became convinced that I had one serious disease or another. I read a couple of books about how to try to deal with HA and the one that sticks in my head kept stating that each time you had a bad thought you should ask yourself what the probability was that you had X disease. In most (all) cases the probability was low and therefore the likelihood was low. It's very easy to say all this but actually it did calm me down (& still does) when I have that stomach-dropping feeling of ultimate doom. I have become so worn down by it all that after 9 years I am so exhausted with it that when I have yet another terminal-looking symptom I just think "oh well at least I know what Im going to die of". It sounds ridiculous but it's the way I deal with it. I also now have the approach of "give it a week or so to see if it disappears". Invariably it does go away.....until the next thing appears. So I suppose what Im trying to say is that you are not alone.

I agree with other suggestions that you speak to your GP and see what help is available to you given the perimenopause and your husband's condition.

There is hope. Look after yourself X

Penguin:
Hi
Another HA sufferer here. Mine also started during the peri journey and was exacerbated by my godmother having a very late diagnosis and dying of cancer, and then my mum dying in 2021 (not of cancer, but something equally uncontrollablethat they couldnt even identify to treat). To the point I have such a phobia of any type of cancer that my body reacts even walking past bus stops with Macmillan ads on. I have tried a number of things over the last couple of years, including cbt (which gave me tools to use when I'm feeling calm enough to use them). I still see a counsellor which helps as she helps draw out what is really worrying me rather than what I have diverted my anxiety to. But the main thing that helped was starting a low dose anti depressant in August last year and hrt in December. The anxiety still gets me but I come down from each incident quicker, at which point I can then use the cbt tools. It would defo be worth asking for a course of cbt if you can, some Trusts let you self refer.
I agree with Dotty re looking at possibility vs probability.  Just because you might have something doesn't mean it's likely that you do. You could even do a pie chart amd plot in all the other, more innocent things it could be, applying %s to each. You'll then see how small the % of the sinister thing actually is As my GP says to me often, it's all about context. Taking one or two symptoms in isolation is not enough to give you a diagnosis, that's what GPs go to med school for all the years that they do for, to be able to look at all options, including differential diagnoses and apply context about YOU, not the general population.

I learnt through cbt that HA is pretty much overestimating the probability of something awful being wrong with you, overestimating the severity if did have it, and underestimating your ability to deal with it / fix it / cope with it.

Also to add, for the whole of last year until my surveillance colonoscopy I did the same as you, couldn't make plans as thought I'd either be too anxious to go, or would be undergoing treatment for my as yet undiagnosed illness. One thing I realised is that it helps to put things in with the caveat you can always cancel them. Since covid we've done that with trips anyway. And being clear to friends that I struggle with anxiety re planning ahead so they are aware I may cancel at short notice. It has worked so far.

This is really horrible, I feel for you so much, and I do hope you can try some of the things suggested on this thread
 Or at least keep talking about it amd your fears, nothing worse than it whirling around in your head.

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