Menopause Humour > The funny side of menopause

Menopause in a nutshell

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KaraShannon:
So I'm tidying the house today, all is well and fine. 

I put my coat on to go out to the pharmacy.  Normal walk to the pharmacy.  Only its not, the minute I get to the nearest shop I have a coughing fit (had no cough in 24 hours but I have a coughing fit while out walking).  I turn a corner to take a quieter route as this was the kind of cough that was going to make your eyes water and make you throw up if not careful.

This young teen boy turns the same corner, walking along awkwardly.  Well they do but in the middle of my predicament I think he's awkward about my cough (which I'm now trying to stop from happening). 

"It's not covid," I joke. 

He turns and looks at me even more awkwardly as if he didn't know a woman older than his peer group could actually talk and if they could, that he was actually expected to engage (he was an older teen, not young)  ;D

I carry on walking, thankfully he turns another corner, so now I can attempt a more forceful and finalising cough.

Only it's the time of the month and that finalising cough has shifted stuff down below and it's like a dam has broken.  I'm not even at the pharmacy yet.  I could go back but that's the story of my life since menopause, it's always something.  So I decide to keep walking, it can't be that bad.

On the way back I decide I AM going in the shop to get what I need as ffs I've only been out ten minutes.

All the while I feel really uncomfortable down there and hoping it's not leaked everywhere (sorry!). 

Get home, straight to the bathroom.  The pad I wore was clean, totally clean.  Use tissue to clean me up but there's hardly anything there.  So I'm imagining it now and could have gone a lot further on that walk.

On another day I'll be all energetic, comfortable, good day.  Go out and bowels will wait till I'm just far enough away from the house or any public toilet and they will announce that they need to empty NOW.  Thankfully that isn't ever bad enough for incontinence, just enough to keep me nervous and uncomfortable and seems to be only when I'm on the progesterone patch.

On another day I will keep biting my tongue enough to draw blood while eating, as I've just done.


Anyway, home now, no flooding, eyes have stopped watering, no cough.

KaraShannon:
and now I'm eating a sandwich and spilling it on the floor  >:(  so clumsy and probably not helping that I've reduced my oestrogen a little bit more to get it down to where the doctor wanted it.

jaypo:
I can totally relate Kara, I can decide to go a lovely walk with my dogs,as my stomach is fine,the SECOND I park the car up to go said walk,my bowels say.......aaaaahahahahaha time to go ,it's infuriating to say the least 🤨

KaraShannon:
Jaypo, I do hope that one will settle down in time.  It started late 2020.  I think it was a covid reaction in the beginning, a mixture of covid and progesterone patches.

By late 2021 it had stopped but returned a bit recently.  It's much more settled on the oestrogen patches, but my body isn't a fan of them.  I feel better overall on the combined patches.  Never simple!

How are you and hubby today?

jaypo:
Feeling a lot better my lovely  :-*
I've had the "bowel thing" most of my adult life,slow transit  >:(
Covid is definitely responsible for gut issues,both me and OH had dreadful tums with Covid both times and it's definitely one of the symptoms.

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