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[Postmeno3]

'Morning, ladies.
I'm in kind of hindsight mode this morning, always a useful thing and wondered what we're all feeling we wished we'd known or had done to help us now? For me, I wish I had had the stamina to question more about what was happening to me, but then the poor stamina was part of what was happening to me! Catch22! Any thoughts, ladies? 🤔

[sheila99]

Be born male 
I wish I'd known about symptoms other than hot flushes so I'd have worked it out 2 years before I did. I wish my GP did too. My GP probably wishes bad temper wasn't one of symptoms (the 'no treatment necessary' comment when I'd finally worked it out didn't go down well  ).

[Dotty]

Wish I’d known what menopause was. I thought it was hot flushes and your periods stopped. Didn’t realise it consisted of lots more horrific things. My 83 year old mum told me that I was going through the change but I just laughed. I realise now that a lot of my mum’s problems were due to menopause but it was never spoken about . x

[Postmeno3]

So are we all so far wanting to have been able to tell ourselves to prepare differently, to find a wider and fuller understanding, to share the experience more openly?

[Wrensong]

That although those horrendous symptoms primarily due to the erratic hormone fluctuations of peri should ease when we settle into our more stable postmenopause stage, we will then be dealing with the consequences of a relative deficiency state for the rest of our lives & that those may include symptoms severe enough to seriously affect QOL.  I did have a one month trial of HRT 2-3 yrs into peri but felt even worse on the progestogen phase.  My then GP thought a month was long enough to know that HRT wasn't going to suit me so didn't suggest persevering with an alternative type.  So with breast cancer in the family & a couple of medical conditions I knew  could be complicated by HRT, I waited to see whether I would improve enough postmenopause to get by without it & in the process effectively wasted a decade being grossly under par.  I wish I'd understood right at the start I could be in it for the long haul, there was no way of knowing how long peri would last & that afterwards I would still not be sufficiently well without HRT.  No way of knowing now, but I also wonder whether my body would have adapted more easily to replacement if I'd started/persevered with it earlier.

[Haydo]

I wish I’d known that in my 60s I could develop VA/GSM, which I had no knowledge of whatsoever.    I wish my GP had thought to examine me when I started presenting with one UTI after another, rather than prescribing antibiotic after antibiotic, when I had never had a UTI before. I wish I’d known that lack of oestrogen can cause a prolapse.   I wish people spoke freely about it, and just looked upon it as being a part of their body which is not working as well as it used to, as you would if it were another part of your anatomy.   I speak freely about it to family and friends, and some of my friends have now been prescribed vagifem following my experience, whereas before they were struggling along not talking about it and having no knowledge of it. 

[CLKD]

I agree with you all.  I knew about "the change" due to seeing people with hot flushes up their necks (We don't talk about that from mother).  Stopping periods and hot flushes which meant no more extremely painful periods and heavy bleeds   .........   my biggest wish is that the medical profession were up to date with peri-menopause etc.; that the medical profession wouldn't tell women that they are 'too young'. 

My grannies didn't talk about periods etc..  I do wonder how they managed  . 

I haven't anything that I could tell myself ......

[sheila99]

On the plus side we're a lot better off than those who went before. We have safer hrt. We have the internet so are no solely reliable on ignorant GPs. Some medics are very well informed. We have places like this forum where I have learned so much. My mother had an op for repeated UTIs, they damaged her back and left her bedridden for 2 years. Almost certainly VA (no longer here so I can't ask). However hard it is for us I am grateful things have moved on since her day. And hopefully we can make it better for those who come after us, my DD will certainly know.

[Cazikins]

I had no idea the menopause would go on for so long. 

I started getting symptoms at around 49 I think (64 now). Back then Menopause Matters had only just be set up I believe, I know they're weren't many of us on here. But over the years I picked up a lot of support, advice & sharing of experiences from this wonderful site.

Looking back my Mother had a terrible time. Weeping, threatening all sorts of terrible things like putting her head in the gas oven. I was late teens at the time & really did not understand what was going on but when I did I was determined I would not to be the same way.

So at 49 I went to my female GP with a list of my symptoms:
Hot flushes
Tiredness
Forgetfulness
Crying
Feeling useless etc etc etc.

I asked to try HRT but she said no you need anti depressants Cazi  , err no I want to try HRT, I am not depressed! I told her.

She said if I tried AD's for 8 weeks & I felt no better than she would consider letting me try HRT. So I tool the AD prescription to the nearest chemist but they didn't have them on the shelf & told me to go back the next day to pick them up........ but I never did. 

I went home & spoke to my husband & he supported me & together we talked about how I could try HRT, that's all I wanted to do, just try it. Like I say I wasn't depressed but I needed something to get me through working full time in a job where I had to be alert & do a lot of concentrating.

So I went back to my GP & asked to see a different female doctor & she listened to me & supported me & together we got myself sorted. 

I suppose what I am trying to say is I am glad I had this forum to help me & without it I probably would have had a very different story to tell.

Look for information. Don't be afraid to challenge a Gp's suggestion if you don't feel it is right for you but at the same time be polite to them as most of them are still learning themselves & they are not all monsters.

Get support if you can from your family & friends & if possible your workplace.

Join local menopausal groups, if there isn't one think about starting one up.

Above all don't beat yourself up about how you are feeling, it is not your fault. You do have choices, & it will get better.
Maybe life will never be the same as it was when you were younger but then neither are mens. 

Love Cazi xx
 

[Postmeno3]

So many great tips and "real" thoughts for those not there yet! Such resssurance for each other, too. The postmenopause sisterhood! 👍

[Perinowpost]

That oestrogen deficiency is for life,  and can seriously impact quality of life. That there is something you can do about menopause, you don’t have to put up with it.  And not to take no for an answer, if you don’t get the support you need get a second opinion from someone informed x

[Wrensong]

The postmenopause sisterhood! 👍

  Yes Postmeno3, I sense a lovely solidarity here & your new board will surely be gratefully used by many.

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

I also wish that I had tried HRT sooner than I did. I waited until I was three years post Meno before  I approached my doctor because although some symptoms had resolved others had replaced them and had become unbearable.

 I had previously thought that I could just push through it on my own but if I had tried HRT sooner I might have avoided some of the problems that plague me to this day ( see my post  on the Postmeno thread lol).

Take care ladies.

K.

[Marchlove]

I wish my younger self knew what I know now. Why in my late thirties I had panic attacks, post pill, and went on Ad’s for next 20 years.
I wish my younger self had a doctor who realised why this was happening and had some better solutions.
I think at last our Mothers hormonal journeys are being finally understood and for that I am truly grateful.
Future generations will hopefully have a better quality of like, in part due to our wonderful MM! xx

[CherrySG]

To my younger (52 year old) self, I would say: when the nice lady GP gives you Ovestin, for goodness sake keep using it, else you will find yourself in a bad way with VA at 56.

To the 49 year old me: your crazy anxiety is perimenopause. You are not necessarily crazy. (but don't go on systemic hrt at 56, it will not agree with your system at all).