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[EmilyBee]

It's frustrating that symptoms are treated as either/or when clearly you could be suffering from depression AND hormonal changes concurrently.  I've always struggled with anxiety and depression and the symptoms of perimenopause hit me like a truck and have made my other issues harder to deal with on a daily basis. 

I hope you find the help you need from doctors and support people who take your symptoms-- both mental and physical-- seriously.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your son.   

[Jet50]

Have you contacted your local CRUSE Group?  Run by bereaved for the bereaved?  Most areas have counsellors to talk with.

Parents never think that they are going to see a child die.  It might be helpful to talk with others in similar positions, maybe your local Hospice will have contacts or groups that you could join with.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve.  Trouble is, you are left with it all whilst the rest of us move on ........... whereas contacting people who have been through similar may be helpful.

Maybe keep a diary of mood/symptoms/food intake.  See how much is cyclical and which symptoms you would like eased first?

Hi CLKD
Thanks for your kind words ,ive had counselling after my son died (he died in our local hospice in east lancs ) from the hospice and also sessions of counselling and i also know and talk to colleagues and close friends whom have lost children ...

For some reason which my include depression,menopause im unable to cope with my daily grind, hopefully will get there soon..

Thanks alot

[CLKD]

Specific counselling can be helpful ......... sharing means not forgetting what your son meant to you ; others will have different memories.  Did you keep a memory book of what you were told by his friends etc.?  Are you in contact with his friends?

Let us know how you get on.  Will send you a personal message too.

[Jet50]

It's frustrating that symptoms are treated as either/or when clearly you could be suffering from depression AND hormonal changes concurrently.  I've always struggled with anxiety and depression and the symptoms of perimenopause hit me like a truck and have made my other issues harder to deal with on a daily basis. 

I hope you find the help you need from doctors and support people who take your symptoms-- both mental and physical-- seriously.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your son.   
[/quote

Hi Emilybee,

Thanks for your reply

Yes it is so hard to get the doctors to say yes its this and not that anyway thank you for your kind words ,hopefully will get sorted soon ,just spoke to crisis team support worker and i may be starting on some anxiety meds on Friday....fingers crossed
Jet x

[Jet50]

Specific counselling can be helpful ......... sharing means not forgetting what your son meant to you ; others will have different memories.  Did you keep a memory book of what you were told by his friends etc.?  Are you in contact with his friends?

Let us know how you get on.  Will send you a personal message too.

Hi CLKD,
Got your pm i actually never thought taken pic down .
At the mo im talking to counsellor's over the phone has that is the quickest way to get help at the mo .
We get together once a year to celebrate his birthday and one of dan's mates always sends me flowers on hus birthday.
I have a memory book ,Dan's things sre around me also, i have some good memories but at the mo the nasty one's are at the fore ...im trying ..hopefully starting some anxiety meds on friday ..fingers crossed.

Jet xx

[CLKD]

I have a lot of guilt which floods my brain as I'm dropping off to sleep  about things I can't alter.  It's a sudden surge of "OH NO!" I even shout out sometimes  .  In the day I can rationalised what happened in those last few months of pet ownership.

How lovely to get together.  Does this help or does it make you sorrowful for what might have been, are you able to deal with that?  I think friends get forgotten often.

[Jet50]

Hi CLKD,
So sorry for the loss of your pet, i lost my cat in 2012 ,i still miss him and crave another but hubby has said no way  .

The get together with dan's friends is so special and i look up to them and see what fantastic young men they have made and I'm so so proud .

Jet xx

[CLKD]

It was 3 cats and a dog - nursed and gone in a period of 22 months from start to finish.  I was knackered afterwards  .  All to a good age.

Then we had chickens  - feathers, eggs, company in the garden .......

Now we have goldfish.  Do you have a special place.  To sit. Think about Dan?  I spend a lot of time by our ponds.  Pondering 

 

[Jet50]

Hi again,
Dan is in a gorgeous casket in my dressing room, so i spend my night's with my wonderful boy .


😻

[CLKD]

Let us know how you get on?

[Jet50]

UPDATE!!
Ive started  some anxiety meds on Sunday (lorazepam)i took 1 at 10 20 ,still pacing at 1ish ,then took 2 on monday at 9.40 they deffo kicked in but still awake at 12.30 ,my bloody legs wont let me sleep .
Anyway had a review appointment at dr on monday they are starting me on HRT after the results of my mammogram come back (august end).
Fingers crossed....hope all are doing has well ...big hugs to all

[AgathaC]

This sounds like progress, Jet, and it's good to have your update. Hoping you can now go forward positively. One day at a time. Big hugs back xxxxx

[Jet50]

This sounds like progress, Jet, and it's good to have your update. Hoping you can now go forward positively. One day at a time. Big hugs back xxxxx

UPDATE 2.,
I finally slept the full night (Tuesday)...
Thanks AgathaC
Big  hugs too you to xxx

[CLKD]

I have restless leg syndrome.  I needed to take Nurofen last night as the feelings kept me awake  .

Bananas ease symptoms as long as I eat 2/3 daily.   

That particular drug knocks me out within moments if I take it when anxiety floors me.  If I take it the moment anxiety begins it doesn't make me as sleepy but certainly eases the symptoms. 

[Jet50]

UPDATE 3..

My friend admitted to hospital was with her and hubby until see was settled, didn't think i was stressed..
Took 2 tablets at 8 ,by 2 ish my legs where so bad ..eventually i must of fallen asleep but awake at 10.40 feeling like I'd been hit by a bulldozer

Jet x