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Author Topic: Feeling so sad  (Read 3329 times)

Debs1974

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Feeling so sad
« on: January 15, 2018, 05:30:53 PM »
Hi everyone,

My doctor called me today with the results of my blood tests to say that there's no doubt about it I'm peri menopausal, she's not going to repeat the first blood test even as she's sure. I suspected as much and if I'm honest I have for sometime. It's just...I'm feeling devastated to have it confirmed. I'm 43. I'm childless and I feel my body's betrayed me!

So guess I'm looking for advice please from any other ladies that are in my situation or have been. I have an appointment for HRT with my doctor on Thurs and from what I've read I want some form of tablets. Are there any I should ask specifically for. I need to get my moods under control- if I'm not screaming at my life I'm crying constantly! I seem to remember I used to be a nice person!

Symptoms:
Joint pain
Erratic mood swings
Even more erratic periods
Fatigue
Restlessness

My doctor recommended this site for info and also for support. So thank you in advance if you can help me or point me in the direction of advice. Even on what to ask my doctor on Thurs.
thanks
D
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knorman

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2018, 06:16:39 PM »
Hello Debs1974

It is very difficult if we have wanted children and they haven't happened and it does feels worse at this time of life. I'm 56 and finally hit menopause 4 months ago and it still makes me sad, even though I knew years ago children probably were not going to happen.  However, I started HRT a couple of months ago and whilst my Dr is still trying to find the right combination for me, after 3 weeks I started to feel like a Nice Person again and the sadness had started to lift.  The night flushes went also, a blessed relief. You probably aren't having proper, restful sleep either, so that doesn't help anyone's mood! The world looks different after a good nights sleep. I'd fought against HRT for such a long time whilst I was peri-menopausal, but transitioning into menopause, everything wracked up, so I took the plunge. Seeing your Dr this Thursday is such a positive step and she will guide you through your options.  They are varied and multifaceted as I am beginning to learn from the kind ladies on this site, but you may hit the jackpot first time as a lot of woman do.  Good luck for Thursday.
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CLKD

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2018, 07:14:51 PM »
You may find that patches may be the way to go.  I'm sure that someone will be along who has HRT knowledge.

In the meantime, browse round; make notes!

Were you trying for a baby, if so, take time to mourn.  This is a part of your Life and should not be pushed under the mat!
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Debs1974

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2018, 07:26:19 PM »
Thanks for the messages, they're really kind of you. And it means a lot. I'm feeling so alone so it really helps to have a reply

I did want children, but it didn't happen for us and I didn't want my life to be all about doctors, injections and testing so I didn't pursue it further. I just hoped it might happen. I think I'm so sad partly because that hope is now over. (Well that and the lack of hormones obviously!)

I'm going to read everything I can get my hands on, thank you for your replies. And maybe ask for some counselling too.
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Alicea

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2018, 07:41:08 PM »
It is big news to have to take on board, on top of how you've already been feeling. Take time to put yourself first. How easy does that sound????

Wishing you the strength they say will get us through it xxx
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Debs1974

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2018, 07:51:20 PM »
Thank you Alicea, I've been searching the forum and reading posts and it is really helpful (in between blubbering of course) i know i'll Get through this, I'm a determined person but I'm def going to ask for professional help
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Alicea

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2018, 07:52:55 PM »
Definitely seek help. Nobody tells you what it's going to be like, so take all the support you can x
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Debs1974

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2018, 07:55:59 PM »
By the way ladies,  I've had a Bowel condition called Bile Salt Malabsorbtion since...forever, so I've always been very thin. (I'm 5'11” and usually weigh between 9-10.5 stone, not anymore thou!) I was wondering if any other ladies on here have the same condition (or similar) and have early menopause. I'm probably just looking for something to blame, I know but...
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Taz2

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2018, 09:20:43 PM »
Hi Debs1974. It is natural to feel sad and we will support you in any way we can on here. You have come to the right place.

Just want to say that peri-menopause can be the eight to ten years before actual menopause and the average age to begin peri is around 43 so, although it is a shock to have it confirmed, it's really not that unusual. Women have gone on to become pregnant while in peri-menopause so maybe it's not quite so bleak after all? When was your last period?

Taz x  :welcomemm:

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Debs1974

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2018, 09:35:08 PM »
Thanks Taz2, I def go the impression from my doc that the avenue for children was closed to me. So i'll Ask her about it, thank you.
My periods have been v short for a couple of years if I'm honest. My last proper one was around June last year. (Over a day) They're now very light, last for about half hr and every 40-50 days.

It does help to hear it's not unusual at my age although I do reckon if I'd have gone to the doc sooner for a blood test I'd have been diagnosed much earlier than this as now I've read on here what some of the symptoms are I know I've been having them for at least a couple of years now. I thought that certain symptoms were due to other things, medications or old injuries.

It's totally depressing to me to feel so exhausted half an hour after waking up that  I have to go to sleep on my bed or i'll literally throw up. I used to be very active but now I can barely be bothered to leave the house. I'm hoping by getting some oestrogen in my system it might give me some energy back and stop me crying and/or acting like a serial killer! Of course there's always the chance that I just have turned into a complete cow, but I'm hoping that medical science can fix that!  ;D
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Debs1974

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #10 on: January 15, 2018, 09:47:19 PM »
By the way... I have copied and emailed the “advice for husbands” page to my husband....genius, just genius!

There's a funny story there but I'll save it for another day! Or maybe post it to that thread in a bit!

See I'm feeling better already just by talking to women who:

A. are willing to talk about it (my friends all seem really embarrassed to even bring the subject up - why is that?)

B. Are or have been going through a similar thing
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Hurdity

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2018, 04:56:59 PM »
Hi Debs1974

 :welcomemm:

Soirry to hear that you are feeling sad and it it understandable - I feel for your disappointment. However at your age with periods very few and far between taking HRT is advisable to help protect your heart and bones as you are intending, but I would like also to echo Taz's comment that now and again women do get pregnant in their early 40's, although it is unusual. Sometimes the ovaries have a last fling before they pack up. Taking some types of HRT does not seem to prevent this happening if it's going to.

I would suggest that you try Femoston either 1/10 or 2/10 as this contains estradiol as oestrogen and the progestogen is very similar to our own body's natural progesterone. It is also well tolerated, but doesn't act as contraception - which I presume you do not want at this point? No other HRT contains this progestogen.

Hurdity x
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Kathleen

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #12 on: January 16, 2018, 07:57:41 PM »
Hello Debs1974 and welcome to the forum.

The ladies of the forum are all in the same boat so there is always a shoulder to cry on. Sorry about the mixed metaphors btw

 I was tempted to add that we will sink or swim together but thought that really was going too far lol.

I've been doing some research on anaemia and low iron etc and wonder if this could be contributing to how you are feeling if you have malabsorption issues? It may be worth looking into.

Wishing you well and keep posting.

K.

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Emerald2017

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #13 on: January 16, 2018, 09:15:24 PM »

Hi again! I'm in the same boat! I wanted children too but without medical intervention, injections and testing. Unfortunately my partner want desperately his own child and our relationship is over I think. Things will be definitely better on hrt. I find very helpful to continue my work, my daily programm and training. Don't give up! Try harder and give time to yourself! When I stay at home I feel more depressed and lonely. My gyn said to me that we just replace hormones I don't have, so I'm not in menopause yet!!!  :-* 🌹
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Taz2

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Re: Feeling so sad
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2018, 10:00:00 PM »
Hi again Debs74 - I've found this thread which talks about the possibility of pregnancy while in peri and on HRT https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,37826.0.html

Taz x
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