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[lesley998]

Hi peroxideblader....

I completely stopped HRT after what happened.  I didn't know if it was the progesterone or the oestrogen but I knew it was the HRT causing it and I couldn't put any more pills over my throat I was so scared by the episodes of doom and anxiety.  No meno symptoms were worth that.  Two years later, I still occasionally get the 'morning dreads' (thought to be cortisol rushes) which are horrible but copeable.  I also stilll get cyclic severe depression where I feel suicidal for weeks (I posted about this) ....family history of mental health issues, I've been off and on ad's for years.  Also had terrible PMS and PND too so it's probably hormonal.  I've recently gone on a high dose AD and feel I'm on the mend.  Hard explain it to those that who haven't experienced it. I think years ago I would have ended up in a mental asylum. My advice would be to stop femoston.  Bio identicals as u mention seem to be the way to go.  Not as harsh as synthetic but u might have a problem getting on NHS. My GP never heard of uterogestan. I don't think I'll ever do HRT again in any form.   I use melatonin for sleep.  Hope you feel better soon. This too will pass.

[CLKD]

Peroxide: I would stop immediately.  I would have rung my GP today.  If you feel suicidal there is also Samaritans.

HORMONES  .  They can cause rages, deep depression, anxiety - which may be helped with HRT but sometimes conventional medication regardless of the causation, is the only way to go.

If your AD helps then continue with that and let us know how you get on tomorrow?

[Peroxideblader]

Sweetpea we sound so similar I've suffered from mental illness for over 35 years and it was on a nice even keel until this and it's scared me. I have stopped the femoston now and I will give the bio identical a go next period but I'm so afraid now just hope these suicidal bleak feelings go soon after I stop this femoston. Sadly life before hrt was terrible I've been unable to get to sleep before 4am EVERY NIGHT fir over 4 years so hrt was my last hope I've tried literally everything else as you can imagine.  So although I can't have this bleak sude effects I'm now back to square one with no options left to help my sleep.  The last thing I tried before hrt was melatonin I had to order it from abroad as it's not licenced in the UK.  I took 1mg then a few days on 3mg but made zero difference but you say you use it to sleep what dose and type do you use x

[CLKD]

Nothing is worth those suicidal feelings!

As for your sleep patterns ........... I do think as I suggested previously, that a sleep clinic could tell you how often your brain does allow cat naps by monitoring you.  Maybe if you know that you do get some sleep however short the bursts, you would be more relaxed.  People do sleep regardless because it's the body's way of healing and sometimes thinking that they won't get any sleep is enough to over-wire the brain!

Maybe a note to Dr Christianson so that you can be on 'Embarrassing Bodies' type programme?  They seem to explore avenues that GP won't be bothered with.

[Peroxideblader]

CLKD thank you i have stopped now I had to. I will never come off my AD it's kept me sane that's what scared me so much these last 11 days I was back to the bleak suicidal feeling I used to have pre AD but because I've been repeatedly told oestrigen is fine and natural and to persevere I did but today I rang my partner and cried my heart out told him I had to come see him or I think I'd have done something silly. He said stop immediately and I did ring doctors but they said to ring samaritans but I needed to talk about the femoston not my bloody state of mind. I've got a phone consultation tomorrow sometime between 8 and 7pm sadly a useless newly qualified gp who is crap...anyway as I'm back to square one I think I have to try for the oestrogel/utrogestan regime next month as this is my last hope to get my sleep back much as this has scared me.I can't take the sedative AD's  they make me ill and my rls worse so it's hrt or slow death !!!

[CLKD]

As well as an AD what else to you take to ease anxiety and/or depression?

Early morning wakening is classic of depression.  As is going to sleep then waking for hours  .  The brain becomes wired.  I take a beta-lbocka as well as AD and have an emergency anti-anxiety medication.

Have you tried yoga or deep breathing?  How is your breathing pattern, singing can help to regulate breathing which can also be relaxing.  The brain gets wired into 'I won't sleep again tonight' so that it is a vicious circle!  Not many of us don't sleep at all as the brain would simply shut off.

Some nights I drop off OK then wake ........ last night I wasn't tired so read until 1.30 when my eye lids began to drop.  Slept but had very busy dreams  .  Soft music also helps when I go through spells of not getting off to sleep.  It is finding something that works!

[Peroxideblader]

Clkd I've asked to be referred to a sleep clinic but they won't as I don't fit the criteria what the hell!!! They moniton people who sleep and wake up or snore or have sleep apnea but they run the study from lights out at 10pm lights on 7am but as I don't sleep til 4am I won't get sufficient monitoring with the 3 hours I do sleep and sadly a private clinic cost is off the scale as it involves 8 different doctors plus machinery and without a lottery win no chance. Do you think I should try the bio hrt?

[babyjane]

Oh I do so hope you ladies can find a solution to your distress.  Noone should have to live like this.  I am so glad that I did not go down the HRT route it seems to cause so much turmoil to some people

[CLKD]

Not for a while.  I would leave at least 2 months. Let the brain settle a bit.

As for not being referred to a sleep clinic, I don't think it would make any difference - what you tell the investigator and what your actually sleep pattern is may well be different!  I can't remember (we've had this 'conversation' haven't we ? ) if you rang the Clinic?  That's why I suggest Dr Christian can't-remember-his-surname  who may have insider knowledge ;-).  I work on 'if I don't ask I don't get' principal.

Found him: "Jessen" ;-)

[Peroxideblader]

Clkd.my problem is inability to fall asleep not the early morning waking in depression and no other meds I get zopiclone 2 monthly but only enough to have a sleep every 5 nights so pathetic really. I wish I could drop off but music apps yoga mediation cbt reflexology acuounctire hypnotherapy melatonin msgnesium and much more make no difference it's like my brain is running at full speed til 4am

[Peroxideblader]

Haven't rang a clinic no you have to be referred by your gp mine won't refer me .
And surely the TV doctor man is unreachable to most people they must have 1000's of people contacting them and years waiting list..plus me on tv err never

[CLKD]

I wouldn't for one moment suggest you go on TV ;-) but contacting people is one way of getting links to what may help  .  I would have thought a decently run Sleep Clinic would be available for any type of problem that is causing distress!   If you found one that would investigate your pattern then you could ask your GP for a referral ....... or they may see you without, many Clinics do these days - though it's not really ethical.

[Lizab]

Peroxideblader, for now, take a deep breath. You've stopped the Femostan. I feel sure you're going to feel a weight lift from you over the next few days. Yes, you may still have sleep issues and whatever other meno symptoms bothered you, but if your anything like I was, you'll be so much more able to cope without that heavy gloom over you. Let yourself recover for a moment from the Femostan, and who knows? You may not even need to try another. But if you do? If...if...  Don't worry about "if" right now. Baby steps. You've got this, one day at a time! Relax and trust that you're moving in the direction you need to be to feel better.

[CLKD]

Well said Lizab 

[Lizab]

I realize on rereading that how ridiculous and impossible it seems that I said "Relax". I'll bet Peroxideblader wants to punch me! I know I quickly tired of everyone telling me to relax. But really, what more can you do at the moment? So since I know you can't relax, I should have said, fret over anything else in the world, but don't allow yourself to fret over this right now.