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Author Topic: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!  (Read 22837 times)

Moomcat

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #15 on: March 31, 2015, 03:00:24 PM »

Hello Puffin Mama  :foryou:

Just wanted to say "Hello and welcome". I'm pretty new to all this too but just wanted to assure you that you're not alone. I was diagnosed last month (I'm 43, but suspect it's been going on a lot longer) after my periods stopped and I stared having delightful hot flushes and night sweats and I, as all the other ladies here, really do empathise with you.

I thought I was going mad and thought I had early onset dementia. My cognition deteriorated, I was doing remarkably stupid things, my concentration was shot to pieces...I couldn't even decide what clothes to wear...

I've had tingling, insomnia, exhaustion, loss of sex drive, depression, anxiety, you name it...I didn't know what the hell was going on and I was terrified!! I was sure I had something terminal. It's frustrating and maddening but we're all here for you.

The ladies on the forum have been so helpful and just reading around makes me realise that this is all "normal" (for want of a better word) and I'm not alone. It really has been invaluable.

I'm on HRT now and although I'm still trying to find what's right for me, I'm having a lot more "good" days than bad but I bloody hate hormones that's for sure, I didn't realise they could wreak so much havoc...

Anyway, it's a new road to walk down but you'll get there. Just remember that you're not alone and you're certainly not going mad.

MC.xx
« Last Edit: March 31, 2015, 03:06:24 PM by Moomcat »
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babyjane

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #16 on: March 31, 2015, 04:21:06 PM »

hello puffin mama and other ladies who have posted here.

Thank you for reminding me how supportive and reassuring it is to read of others going through the same difficulties with all these symptoms.  It is like reading about myself over and over again.  When you are on your own it is so easy to imagine terrible things are wrong but we can't all be ill with a terrible illness can we?
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Jenna

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #17 on: April 01, 2015, 08:32:19 AM »

Sparkle - sorry to break it to you, but chocolate is well known for causing acid reflux. It relaxes the lower esophageal sphincter, apparently, allowing the acid through, hence the burning throat etc., :( Yes, it affects me and also my 30 year old son  to some degree! I had also noticed that chocolate often made me cough. I do try not to eat it now because I don't want to risk getting heartburn/indigestion - such is life!
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Puffin Mama

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #18 on: April 01, 2015, 09:07:45 AM »

Morning ladies  :)
Thank you Hurdity and Moomcat for your replies - I am so grateful to have found this forum and to know that others are going through this awful process - keep telling myself it's a natural process but it certainly doesn't feel very natural compared to what was my normal self!  Hurdity, thanks for the link to that article, it's very interesting - you seem to have a better grasp of the science than I do!. My cycle doesn't really seem to know what it's doing as although it is generally around 3 weeks between periods,  I have had a 5 week gap in the last few months and a couple of just over 4 weeks - including the one that has finally decided to start now  ???.  My periods are definitely heavier and I suppose that might be why the consultant suggested the progesterone - he also said that low progesterone can cause anxiety, which has been one of my main symptoms (so yes, the throat thing might be linked to anxiety as well).  My glands are still quite painful so I wonder if some of it at least might be viral or some sort of infection - it's all highly annoying, whatever it is! I saw Mr Panay at the meno clinic at Queen Charlotte's and I know he is one of the experts so am hoping he is on the right lines. I haven't encountered the hot flushes yet so still have that to look forward to!
Moomcat,  I too have wondered if I am going mad but having read so many posts on here about brain fog,  have concluded that this must just be hormones as well. I don't sleep well although I did find that acupuncture helped with that.
Sparkle, I'm glad your test results didn't find anything unpleasant - one of my friends had her gallbladder out about 3 years ago and has constant problems with things ever since and another colleague of mine has also just had hers out and is lamenting the changes in her diet that she has had to make. I was rather dismayed to hear that your throat thing has been going on for 4 years!  I think trying to ignore it is the way I will go - while trying to find ways to get rid of it at the same time, if you see what I mean!  I find that if I am really concentrating on something else,  I tend to forget about it for a while so am trying to keep busy - have started yoga to see if that helps with the anxiety and I do feel better overall and a bit fitter! (although find myself watching the yoga instructor on the DVD, who is probably in her 40s as well, and thinking 'I bet she doesn't have any of these weird symptoms  >:('!!)
If I could afford it, I'd be at my acupuncturist every week - there are two women in the practice that I have seen for various things and I far prefer the holistic approach, particularly now when my whole system just feels out of kilter.  I will try the progesterone though and see what effect that has.......
Jenna, I was advised by my acupuncturist to avoid any dairy as it is well known for encouraging mucus (lovely!) - I guess that rules out chocolate then although I struggle with that - and can't imagine I will get through the Easter weekend without any!  The other thing I am trying to cut out is wheat as it doesn't seem to like my digestive system any more and I try to avoid things with yeast in as well. 
I'm sure we will all get through this but I have to say that although I am trying to see the ageing process as positively as possible,  I do have days of not liking it much at all!!  I guess we owe it to ourselves to keep as healthy generally as possible, mentally and physically - not so easy to find the time for ourselves though, I know - I would be delighted if I cold just stay awake once my daughter has gone to bed to catch up on an hour's tv!  :D xx
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babyjane

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #19 on: April 01, 2015, 01:44:33 PM »

wheat and sugar causes me great discomfort.

 I am best on a diabetic diet (not diabetic but very strong family history of diabetes so it doesn't hurt to be mindful of my blood sugar) but occasionally I lapse (like on my birthday) and then I feel quite ill for some days afterwards.  ::)
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Hurdity

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #20 on: April 01, 2015, 03:38:38 PM »

Wow Puffin Mama - you saw the great Nick Panay! I bow down to his awesome knowledge and experience about menopause (indirect of course  ;D). ! He's done loads of research so hope you get on OK with whatever he suggests! Of course as we are all different - some women may not react as predicted so have to try  something else!

Hurdity x
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Puffin Mama

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #21 on: April 02, 2015, 11:31:19 AM »

Hi all

Yes, I do think it's chicken and egg with anxiety and symptoms but am trying to take Hurdity's advice and not stress about every tiny weird thing!   Sparkle,  I can't really drink either and when I do have a glass of wine I wake up the next day feeling like I have drunk a bottle of the stuff (and not in a good way!) :)

Hurdity,  I was very pleased to have seen Mr Panay rather than one of his underlings (although I'm sure they are all good).  The first doctor I saw at that clinic told me I was low in oestrogen and also assured me that menopause didn't really cause digestive problems  ???.    Mr Panay took one look at my symptoms and told me he thought my oestrogen was probably still fine,  although probably fluctuating slightly but not enough to necessitate any supplementing yet.  He thinks I have low progesterone and has put me on Utrogestan 100 capsules and suggested I try them orally first but if the side-effects are unpleasant, to try them vaginally instead.  He also said that meno can cause horrible digestive problems and that a number of his patients suffer from IBS brought on or exacerbated by hormones.  He was very nice and very happy to answer all my questions - just hope i can see him next time1 I hope the Utrogestan makes a difference to some of these ridiculous hormonal antics although I am not expecting everything to miraculously disappear and doubtless that prescription will need tweaking as time goes on.

What a performance this whole thing is!!  My period started on Tuesday morning (finally, after 4 weeks and a day, which is a long stretch for me!) but seems to be finishing already after two very heavy days - it's now impossible to predict from month to month what it will do! And I imagine it's the same for a lot of the ladies on here
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janb

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #22 on: April 09, 2015, 07:28:56 AM »

Hi
Hope you dont mind me joining in, you all are helping me to feel normal ~ whatever that is.....
So glad I found this forum.
I just want all this to stop. Not sleeping, anxiety, overthinking everything.
Where has the real me gone ???

We are all in this together girls xxx
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toffeecushion

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #23 on: April 09, 2015, 09:05:48 AM »


You know what was making me stressed ?? Having no answers!!!!!

That is so true, I will have to remember to quote that :)
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Lyndsey0506

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #24 on: April 10, 2015, 09:01:21 PM »

Hi there
Firstly I must say that I'm glad you have found the forum because the support here is fantastic and was a huge help to me during some very dark days.  Secondly, reading your post is like reading about me!
Your symptoms are so much like mine.  Anxiety has been my main symptom and a horrible one at that.
This all started for me in November last year when my period didn't turn up and as I am only 38 I thought I was pregnant, I was terrified as I already have three children (14, 7 and 6 years old).  But the test was negative and I was shocked as I have always been so regular.  I went to my GP who is excellent and he took blood straight away which confirmed the menopause, he told me to come back after Christmas for another blood test and if my levels were still the same he would prescribe HRT due to my age, etc.
Everything just started to go down hill after that.  Panicking and worrying, the terrible feeling of dread.  I knew things were getting out of hand when my 6 year old son was going on a school trip (only to the local museum) and I had convinced myself I would never see him again because they were going to lose him or he would be snatched and I decided he wasn't going.  My mam picked up on this and after talking me into allowing him to go we went to the doctors again, this time she came with me.  In the meantime I had had another blood test and he said my levels weren't good and prescribed HRT, I take prempack C.  After a month of taking them I felt no better.  The anxiety was taking over and the worst bit being that awful LUMP in my throat.  You swallow and swallow and it won't go away then you have no saliver to swallow and it gets worse and worse, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep.  I knew I was being irrational about things but I just couldn't stop the thoughts that bad things were going to happen to the kids, I would die, my mam would die, etc, I was paranoid and looking back it was silly but for me it was totally real at the time.
I ended up back at the doctors who prescribed Fluoxetine.  He told me I would have a week where I would feel worse but after that I should improve.  He even signed me off sick from work (I'm never off).
I'm now onto my third month of HRT and my second month of Fluoxetine and what a massive improvement!  The first week was rough but I am definitely feeling more like me again.  I would have tried anything, I thought I was losing my mind.  The lump still comes now and again but hardly ever and I am sleeping and eating again.  The tingling will be the anxiety too it's caused when you start to hyperventilate.
Please persevere because there is light at the end of the tunnel and you are not alone.  I too thought it was just hot flushes and mood swings, nothing could have prepared me for this.  Your GP sounds helpful and mine has been too which is half the battle.
Don't get me wrong I could scratch my skin off it is so itchy and I am also tired and ache by the evening but with help and advice from the forum and my GP I can cope with that.
Keep posting to let us know how you get on.
Take care
Lyndsey x
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Taz2

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #25 on: April 11, 2015, 04:47:40 PM »

What a lovely post Lyndsey. Thank you so much for sharing and it's so great to hear that you are feeling better. Thank goodness for your mum.

Taz x  :foryou:
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GypsyRoseLee

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #26 on: April 11, 2015, 09:22:09 PM »

Welcome PuffinMama

I had very similar symptoms to you. About 16 months ago my periods changed and got closer together (every 23/24 days rather than 28) but lighter. Soon after that I began to suffer with intense anxiety and feelings of dread. Then the random insomnia arrived. It was so horrible. Because I was still having periods it never occurred to me that it could be anything to do with hormones or peri menopause.

My GP assumed I just had regular anxiety/depression and started me on Sertraline too. I had a bad reaction to it so swapped to a different AD. This one worked much better and calmed me down. But I still kept getting a breakthrough of the same symptoms several times a month. All very odd. So after 6 months I stopped taking them.

It was only when I remembered that I had suffered similar unexplained anxiety and dread when I had PND that I got suspicious that my hormones were to blame. I found this site and nervously posted asking for advice about my symptoms. Had lots of lovely posters welcome me and reassure me that I was just suffering through the peri menopause (had never even heard that phrase before).

I had NO IDEA that inexplicable anxiety is one of the most common symptoms of peri/menopause. I had just assumed that everyone just got hot flushes for a bit, then their periods stopped. Job done.

I went back to see another GP who agreed to refer me to a menopause clinic. The consultant there assured me that she saw women like me all the time. Still in their early 40s. Still having regular periods. But suddenly suffering increased PMS and anxiety.

I am now on day 3 of a combined HRT regime. I am hoping and praying that it works well for me.

There's a lot of lovely and very knowledgable women on here. You're in safe hands  :)
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GypsyRoseLee

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #27 on: April 11, 2015, 09:25:55 PM »

Oh and just remembered that I suffered with a twitchy, prickly thumb and fore finger for several months last year.  I googled and convinced myself I was starting with Parkinson's Disease. At the same time I had unexplained pain and stiffness in my right ankle. It was so bad some mornings that I limped quite noticeably. Both symptoms stopped some time well before Xmas. No idea why?
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Puffin Mama

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #28 on: April 13, 2015, 11:05:52 AM »

Hi Lyndsey and GypsyRoseLee,   nice to 'meet' you  :).   It is so reassuring to hear from so many women with the same symptoms and Lyndsey, it sounds like you have had almost exactly the same problems with this as I am having.    It was my mother as well who first suggested that I might be in perimenopause and I thought that was ridiculous to start with as I had no hot flushes or night sweats etc - still don't but I think I would willingly swop some of my other symptoms for them now!   I completely identify with that consuming anxiety about your children as well - I have had mornings where I didn't even want my 11 year old daughter to go to school because I kept imagining something happening to her and just had to keep saying to myself that this was irrational and that she would be fine (and of course she was).   I am on 50mg sertraline once a day and that does generally control the worst of it although I also get patches of the anxiety breaking through at odd points in the month so am hoping that when I start on Utrogestan that will help.
Today's weird and wonderful symptom is a finger tremble in my left hand!   I have had several days without the tingling and shaky feeling - although the lump in the throat is still there - but I could feel the shakiness in my hands starting again this morning and am noticing a spasm in my hand from time to time.   I saw my GP last week as I was getting so worried and he reckons I may be deficient in something so has ordered loads of blood tests - I should have the results tomorrow so hopefully that will show something up that can be easily treated.
I just hate how our hormones can play games with us - I have had a run of good days this week but since last night, have started to feel quite crappy again.   I was on leave last week and am back at work today and I do now wonder if stress is playing a part......
Wishing everybody the best day possible Puffin x
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pepperminty

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Re: New here and feeling scared......would be VERY grateful for any advice!
« Reply #29 on: April 14, 2015, 07:22:44 AM »

Hi Puffin Mama,
Yes stress does pay a major part. I too have developed the burning mouth and tongue , and didn't realise it could be meno related . I also suffered for anxiety and poor sleep , but my new HRT seems to be helping with the anxiety. I use a tape called 'I can make you sleep' which helps if I wake up and can't go back to sleep. Reading your posts I believe you said that you wake up in the early hours , me too. A sleep cycle consists of 4 stages and runs in 90 minute cycles and most people need about 7 -9 hour, but its mostly the quality not quantity. Try to get a routine before sleep and relax. I have started mindfulness meditation and it really helps. Just a few minutes a day can make a difference. I have so many symptoms , but now I do not focus on them and try to have a sense of humour when I forget the simplest things or can't remember words. Its the exhaustion and aches that are the worst for me. I also try not to focus on what might happen , and deal with what is happening .Making small positive steps and being kind to yourself makes a difference.
Peppermintyx
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