Menopause Discussion > Personal Experiences

On a miserable rollercoaster.

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Witches Cat:
Can anyone else relate to this and give me some advice? Been on here from time to time, often to check out how everyone is doing and sometimes throwing in the odd comment,  I had my annual review a month or two back and discussed coming off the HRT (Elleste Duet Conti 2mg) and due to my frequent problems with anxiety, often made worse with the family health probs (now found out 3 have Alzheimer's) the doc suggested I stick with it as she didn't want to add to the anxiety by me trying to stop.  I went home and decided (in my warped brain) that things were pretty good at the moment, father in law's Alzheimer's pills helping him a lot, my mother's on different tabs, but they are helping her so before everything starts to fall apart I'd give it a go on the no HRT front.  Stopped completely, a week in I was in bits, so back to the pills, after a fortnight I was feeling better but still of a mind to come off them, so started an every other day regime... a month in the flushes are starting to reappear, but they're manageable... then .... yesterday members of family came for a visit and told me another family member has the dreaded Alzheimer's, and a 5yr old nephew has health probs which sound far too much for a little'un to have to cope with. Today I'm in pain, I'm shaking, sweating, can't settle.... question is would any of you stick with the lesser dose of HRT and say it's just me panicking and I'll be better in a day or two, or would you get back an the full dose and say sod it for a year or three?  I'm so sorry this ramble's on ....... Rescue remedy not working either... 

CLKD:
Have a HUG!  Changing/stopping our medication is tempting when we feel well and non of us know what is around the corner.  I used to try to come off ADs with grave consequences  :'( - as the saying goes, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it".

What do you feel would be best?  Reading your thread I would say go back to your regime, the 1 which worked for you.

How involved will you be in any of the care that will be required for these various relatives?  Maybe arrange a get-together with the carers as well as getting info from the Alzheimers Association.  This is essential for anyone involved with those who seem to be less and less 'able'. 

Littlens' cope, it's the adults around them that often flap.  Are you involved with his family 'hands on'?  Do they live close to you?  If so then chat with the parents and see what advice they are sourcing from their GP, the Hospital and 'associations' to the child's health care needs if appropriate. 

Panic can be difficult to control.  If your symptoms are better on the higher dosage then stick with it.  I said sod it years ago  ;)

Witches Cat:
Oh CLKD, you always come up trumps, I think looking back I was best off on the full dose of my HRT, trouble is it makes me want to eat, and I've put on over a stone since I started them 2 1/2 yrs ago. My father-in-law is only a few hundred yards away and lives on his own and we will be his sole carers for as long as poss, that's the way he wants it, he's adamant he's not going in a home EVER... but things change, at the moment he's telling people he's cured, and yes he's a lot better, but... My mother is by the sea about 45 miles away and my sister looks after her, Mother's in sheltered housing. The new rellie we've just heard of  is a cousin of my mother's and was a nurse all her life, her family have all disappeared to Australia bar one and it seems he's put her in a home and left her there, says he hasn't the patience to deal with her. When my sister (who has a contact number for this son) phoned him and said my mum would like to see her, they took the cousin to her empty house we think the son is trying to sell, and left her there waiting for her visitors she couldn't remember. Someone had laid out a few scant sarnies and a cake under a tea towel, but there was no visible signs of family life left there, just a sofa and the odd picture, all the cupboards had been emptied, no cleaning materials, no cutlery , no plates,no beds or bedding, nothing. My mother said it was the worst 2 hours of her life... I have registered with the Alzheimer's group that someone on here told me about, and we have a phone number for father-in-laws specialist nurse for if we're worried, day or night, wonderful lady but she has to cover the whole of Dorset. The little boy is my sister's grandson, so again, down by the seaside... she's the far south of the county and we are so far north we are nearly in Wiltshire.  I do get into terrible panics, especially when I don't feel too good, then I feel even worse thinking about the family and all that needs doing, worrying about whether hubby and I will be able to cope... On the top of everything going round in the massive pot of woe is the thought "I can't be ill"   Reading this back through, It looks like I have one real problem, and that is me... the next one down the line is father-in-law and everyone else is too far away for me to be of immediate help too. I think I'll get back on the pills one a day again.... have to mow his more lawns more often and get more exercise to get the weight off.  Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. Off to check out his frozen dinners now, do the chickens and if the 4 lawns have dried a bit, mow the grass if I can. (If not, it's hubbies job)   :-\

CLKD:
You sound as though you are a 'fixer'?  Which means that if everything is sorted, you feel more relaxed?

I'm the same  ::) if it ain't done my way it ain't right  :-X

I have found in recent years that it is best to give advice, then stand back.  If people don't take your advice that is their choice, not a fault of mine/yours.   Our advice might not fit in with their routine etc. at this point in time.  I do this with Mother when she 'starts', find out as much as I can then hand her the leaflets - by which time the crisis has usually passed but she never bothers to tell us that she has moved on  >:(

TAKE CARE OF YOU! a person can only care for another if they are healthy themselves. 

Of course our wrinklies don't want their lives to change because 'any change is scarey, even when we want it'.  But you have to make sure that issues don't reach crisis point, does he get respite care at all, somewhere for a few nights?  He may find that he likes it!  You can find out if the house is for sale by doing a search for 'properties in ......... ' maybe this cousin requires a social services visit for assessment?  If she is in a 'home' then they will have sorted out funding and whether there is a property to sell, which can be snatched back if in any way the Government believes it has been sold to avoid charges! so the son is unlikely to benefit for very long.

Your sister's grandson is out of your remit  ;) ......... even if you had no one to worry about apart from yourself and your husband  ;) the best thing is to be a sounding board for your sister!

<Witches Cat>

Witches Cat:
Thank you, you make some really good points, I'm a bit more relaxed now, been holding the hose to water in the polytunnel while hubby tackled the lawns, and planted up some lettuces. The old chap wants his garden done, and all this stuff planted, but when we point out it's for him, and he can have anything there that he wants, he wants none of it, it's so maddening. Next year I think we have to say we can only do so much.... and prioritize.... now off to phone a builder about pointing that's needed and an electrician about new storage heaters.... thank you again.

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