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[Jenna]

Cassie - your mom could have picked up an infection in hospital. I would have a word with the GP about this and have a stool test done. Also it could be that her gut bacteria has been upset by the antibiotics and something like acidophilus tablets (Holland and Barrett/Healthspan) might help. Hopefully this incontinence will just be temporary. Please let us know how she gets on. x

[Cassie]

Thankyou Jenna, funnily enough my hubby muttered something similiar about a poss infection so will def get a test done and let you know, much appreciated. I do give her a good probiotic so am hoping its not permanent. x

[CLKD]

Try to get a continence nurse to attend, must less embarrassing if a Professional is present and talking to someone who deals with similar on a daily basis gives the patient confidence!  It is important to get stool samples sent off ASAP .  Let us know how you get on!

[Ju Ju]

Dad rang last night. Mum's ill again with hives and crashing low blood pressure. He believes the trigger was hearing of the death of a close friend, the second this week. She collapsed while on the commode and fell on the floor. Dad couldn't get her up for about 30 minutes when she came to. Dad had been told to ring 999 when this happens, so she could be put back into bed, but last time he did this, they took 3/4 hour to get there. To add to the stress, Dad has lost his sense of smell and trod in the spilt contents of the commode and walked it around. Poor man had a lot of clearning to do. I worry about him as much as Mum. He's 90. There's not much I can do other than be at the end of the phone for Dad. He doesn't normally talk much, but is able to offload to me. So have some uses! At least they know the pattern of what to expect and how she will recover. She takes about a week to feel reasonably ok, with the first 2 days hardly able to move out of bed, eat or drink. It seems to happen every 1-2 months.

[Pennyfarthing]

Oh dear ju ju .... Thinking of you!

[CLKD]

Always difficult.  Would your Dad agree to a list of 'reminders' ?  You could explain that Tim  Peak who recently walked outside the Space Station had reminders in a list strapped to his write ;-).  Everything they do outside the Station has to be in a particular order, so talking around this and then dropping in the suggestion that maybe a reminder list taped to the bathroom, door, the side of the commode and anywhere that Dad looks at on a regular basis? Would be useful for many of us probably!

Maybe a carpet cleaner - one can hire them from DIY stores i.e. B&Q, Homebase?

[Ju Ju]

Bit confused, CLKD. Reminders for what? As far as I can tell from talking to him, he did everything he could. I doubt I could have done better, though I would have probably smelt the contents of the commode!

What he does need is nursing help with Mum and a means of lifting her, when she has an attack, but she doesn't need or want care the rest of the time. I shall do some ringing around on Monday, but suspect it will be difficult to arrange help just here and there when she gets an attack. At least they could afford private help if available.

He was up several times in the night, assisting her in and out of bed to use the commode. She is now able to call him. Earlier, she was screaming and calling out incoherently. He says it was frightening. In the past, she has been admitted to hospital, but they don't or can't do anything medically for her and discharge her as soon as possible. Hospital stays are traumatic for both of them.

 I did Google the effects of sudden low blood pressure. Other than collapsing as she does, she is in danger of having a stroke. She had one years ago and takes appropriate medication, which is left off during an attack. She is 88 and I agree with Dad she is better at home if possible. I think they would rather be at home if she died. They've lived there since 1958.

Dad has a chronic back problem and hurt it trying to lift her. I can talk to him about leaving her on the floor, just making sure she is breathing and warm, until she can help him move her. She becomes incontinent during these attacks. Dad wondered where all of it comes from when she's not eating! He has been able to give her rehydrating drinks at least.

It's so distressing when this happens. It helps to think more clearly when you write it down. Thanks for your support.

[CLKD]

When my Dad was becoming frail Mum would dial for the Paramedics.  They would attend and assist.  When he was stuck in the bath they advised her on the phone to pull the plug, wrap him in blankets and towels until they got there.  After assessment once he was in bed it was decided that he didn't need to go to the Hospital.  In the next couple of years she called them for advice several times.

Did you mean 3/4 hours or three-quarters of an hour?  Was your Dad able to ring for assistance this time?  Maybe ring for the 'out of hours' GP if the Ambulance doesn't arrive if your Mum has this happen again?

The list of reminders would have the telephone numbers to hand  and would reassure him that it's OK to ring for help.  Making sure that your Mum is kept warm  - ……. at the very least the Paramedics can help lift as if your Dad's back becomes worse    Would your Mum wear incontinence pads at night 'in case'? 

Are there support Nurses who would do an 'over-night' stay?  Do your parents have room for someone to stay over?  I believe that they do the care whilst your Dad got some sleep so that he doesn't have to keep 'an ear' out.  Maybe looking at the various leaflets that AgeUK print or ask Macmillan/Marie Curie Nurses for advice on what is available in their area, or ring a few 'care' Homes? 

[Ju Ju]

Oh, yes, all covered! It was three quarters of an hour! Mum's slowly recovering and Dad sounded more upbeat this evening. They will have been married for 66 this year. I emphasised that on no account should he even attempt to move her in future. He sat on the ground with her head on his lap. I have got him to agree to ring for an ambulance if she remains out of it longer than 20 minutes. For his sake rather than hers. She would rather die in her own home. He couldn't get her to take the antihistamines this time, as she has read the side effect list and is now convinced that they are causing the illness. The fact they have helped with the hives, if not the low blood pressure problem before was neither here nor there. Mmm.......a conversation for when she is better and thinking more logically. The doctors have never come across symptoms like this.

I made an off the cuff comment to my DD to put me out of my misery if l was ever that ill. She said she always fancied going to Switzerland ........! Daughters!

[CLKD]

May I giggle ……… [don't need to go there 2-day as we have SNOW] 

Shock can cause low blood pressure.  Maybe when your Mum gets out of bed she should sit on the edge with legs hanging down for a few moments so that she hasn't stood up too quickly?  Would it help to put on a gentle alarm so that she wakes before her bladder is insistent? which might give her time to 'go slower'?

[Ju Ju]

There seems to be a pattern to this illness. It started this time the following day, not immediately. They seem to know how it will progress, but the start can be sudden, though usually the hives start gradually giving time to prepare. They are as prepared as much as possible now for low blood pressure to fall. Mum doesn't get out of bed without my Dad's assistance. Which means he's up and down several times through the night. However, collapsing and falling off the sturdy commode was a new one! Hopefully, she's a bit better today. I shall ring later.

[CLKD]

Let us know how they are !

Could it be a reaction to something she eats a few days prior or even to the packing of any medication she takes?

[Ju Ju]

Mum rang this evening. She's recovering much quicker than other times. She sounded alert, just tired. She's been able to read the books I've given her. So relieved. I'm just hoping she's ok at the end of next month, when my son comes for a visit. My parents will get the chance to meet their new great granddaughter for the first time.

[CLKD]

Thanks for the up-date.  Was a-wondering  ……… your son won't be dropping by your parents' suddenly so she ought to be OK 

[getting_old]

I'm so sorry to hear about your poor Mum and Dad. It's awful when you don't know when it's going to happen again. Is it worth keeping a food diary in case something she is eating is a trigger?