Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[CLKD]

Even if they have been unhappy about what happened all those years ago, why now?  Why are the Police pursuing old crimes  hopefully the Crown Prosecution Service will throw out most of these claims.

I am in the middle of reading a book about a Mid-wife, she worked alongside Harold Shipman and really could not believe the tales when he was first arrested.  Or course, as reality dawned she was grief stricken initially ............ then horrified at the outcome 

[Taz2]

We have no idea whether the woman who appears to have been raped by William Roach has lived a happy life though. She was 15 at the time and he was a famous 35 year old. We have all seen how some victims have a tough time getting believed. If you are a gullible 15 year old it is quite conceivable that you would be too scared to report it - who knows what threats may have been made for her to keep quiet.

This woman is now 61/62. None of us knows why she has come forward now. Maybe her own parents have now died for instance so she feels that finally she can speak out without putting them through trauma. Maybe the fact that others have come forward has given her courage to stand up and talk about the dreadful that happened to her (twice) and to see the man who might have done this brought to justice. She could be any one of our friends - an ordinary woman who was wronged - and just because it was over forty years ago doesn't mean it should be forgotten about.

Taz x

[CLKD]

It would be better after all these years to have a mediation service - for those affected to sit round the table and thrash out the whys and wherefores.  Sometimes the victim wants to be believed and needs an apology ......... apparently the man who did the Game Show years ago has pleaded guilty oh, Stuart Hall 

[Taz2]

Not sure I would feel like that if I were the victim. It's like someone sitting with you, patting you on the hand and saying "there there" while he gets away with no punishment. I am sure that if you are raped at fifteen then it stays sharp in your mind no matter how many years go past.

Taz x

[ricky]

However historic it will be invesigated by the police

As Taz said, once parents have passed. victims feel able to speak out

[honeybun]

It really goes to show how much was swept under the carpet all those years ago. I wonder if a complaint was made and then ignored because he was famous.
I think because of JS the police are revisiting past complaints.

To be raped at 15 would have had an effect that lasts your whole life.

My issue now would be.....how on earth do you prove it with no evidence. Just his word against hers.
If she remains anonymous then I would be more inclined to believe that it happened. If she sells her story to a paper then.....

Honeyb
X

[Meggie]

This lot makes me cringe.

However, being sexually abused by someone we called 'uncle' when I was 12 and not being able to tell my parents (I thought they would not believe me or even blame me), I can understand why many kept quiet.  In my case I didn't even tell my sisters until my parents were no longer around, as I didn't want to cause upset to my parents. 

I think I was the fool.

Meggie

[Suzi Q]

I dont know how anyone can prove or disprove what hapened nearly 50 years ago
Bill Roache Rolf Harris Kevin too then the DJs
Either UK TV has the biggest Pedo rings going or someones telling irkie pies
We actually saw the 59 year old women who claims she :saw something" with Rolf Harris
Why would you let yourself be filmed? She wont say what she saw and this is enough to bring an old man to his knees?
This type of stuff diminshes the real victimes like Meggie
IM sorry but all these peole now coming out of the woodwork where quite happy to fondle Saville and pals
All to get tickets to TOP and other shows to be popular they came back week after week
Do you name them and in efect ruin their lives forever cos it is even if they are never charged
Bet you never see Ken barlow again or Kevin Or Rolf harris it doesnt matter if they are incocent their jobs are over
If they are gulty and its proved then jail and dont pass go but I have my reservations xxxxxxxxxx

[CLKD]

Oh Meggie <hug>.  Many would not have been believed at that time.  There was the worry of 'what the neighbours might think'    ...... Stuart Hall has admitted to 19 counts of indecent assault and will be charged in June.     .........

[Firewalker50]

Hi Meggie

I am sorry to hear that you had to go through that.  I read all the comments and when it got to the questions about 'why come forward now' etc. I contemplated commenting but something held me back. 

However, I understand exactly how Meggie feels.  I was not raped but I was sexually assaulted by three different men - between age of around 8 to 12.   1 of them my Mum's uncle; one my Dad's friend and one the local park-keeper.   I consider them minor compared to some people's experiences.

I never told anyone at all until a few years ago - 40 years after it happened.  I only told my best friend at that time.  I knew that it was wrong but believed I could not have told my parents at the time.   I could consider that it may have influenced things that happened later in my life, but what would that accomplish?

Anyway, it was when I found out that my fiance was leading a full double life that I went to have a sexual health check.  The doctor asked me a range of questions including sexual abuse and I just answered.   He offered me counselling and said that many people are in my situation, that it is never minor, and that counselling would be available for me at any time, at any age.   

So, I have told 2 people, plus who knows how many on here now.  I think I did not want anyone to know and did not want to deal with what I anticipated what would happen if I did, then as I grew up I did not want to bring it back to the surface. 

Does that make me/us a fool as Meggie suggested?  I don't know.  I don't think I was a fool.  I would have hated the repercussions of telling. 

I think we did what we did to protect ourselves in some way at the time.  I had no threats to keep quiet so that was not a factor. 

Now, if it came out now and people were asked to come forward (as in the current JS case et al) would I come forward.   Possibly yes and possibly no.   I don't know that I would want people to know that part of my life from so long ago that is private.  But then again, despite what the doctor told me, I considered mine minor in relation to others.   Perhaps that's what allowed me to deal with it.

I guess it is easy to form opinions of why people did not come forward at the time.  I felt uncomfortable when I read the postings forming views of that which has prompted me to post an alternative view / reason.

I don't think they can all be lumped together.  Every person is an individual and makes their own decisions.  Some may not be genuine as has been suggested, but there will be many who did not feel they could come forward at the time but perhaps now feel stronger or safer to do so now within the 'protection' of the public enquiry.

Thanks for sharing Meggie - it did give me the courage to post also.

Fx

[CLKD]

   ......... valuable words.

now it's Jimmy Tarbuck .......... 

[Elena]

FW thanks for putting that into words.  There really is another side to the whole "why are they all jumping on the bandwagon after all this time" point of view.

[pixie]

Sorry to hear about Meggie and Firewalkers experiences. I can understand why people would keep it quiet.  Sometimes it is embarrassment, or fear that someone won't believe you which makes the situation worse.  I have had several unpleasant experiences, where men have copped onto me when I was a child. Once was when I was playing hide and seek with my cousin at the beach and a man asked me to go with him and  was masturbating whilst looking through binoculars at topless women. I've never told anyone much about that as I hadn't a clue what he was doing, and it didn't seem to have any effect at the time. It just seemed rather odd. Another occasion I was nearly molested whilst I was in bed just about to go to sleep, I was woken up by the man that was staying with us, who was taking the covers off the bed and pulling my nightdress up.He didn't get any further than that as I gave him a filthy look and asked him what he was doing and he ran out.  Before this, on another occasion, he had stripped off naked in the beach hut we had and I was shocked to see him in full frontal mode. I was very lucky that I felt I could tell mum and she believed me. Never saw him again thank god!

[Suzi Q]

Hi Meggie

I am sorry to hear that you had to go through that.  I read all the comments and when it got to the questions about 'why come forward now' etc. I contemplated commenting but something held me back. 

However, I understand exactly how Meggie feels.  I was not raped but I was sexually assaulted by three different men - between age of around 8 to 12.   1 of them my Mum's uncle; one my Dad's friend and one the local park-keeper.   I consider them minor compared to some people's experiences.

I never told anyone at all until a few years ago - 40 years after it happened.  I only told my best friend at that time.  I knew that it was wrong but believed I could not have told my parents at the time.   I could consider that it may have influenced things that happened later in my life, but what would that accomplish?

Anyway, it was when I found out that my fiance was leading a full double life that I went to have a sexual health check.  The doctor asked me a range of questions including sexual abuse and I just answered.   He offered me counselling and said that many people are in my situation, that it is never minor, and that counselling would be available for me at any time, at any age.   

So, I have told 2 people, plus who knows how many on here now.  I think I did not want anyone to know and did not want to deal with what I anticipated what would happen if I did, then as I grew up I did not want to bring it back to the surface. 

Does that make me/us a fool as Meggie suggested?  I don't know.  I don't think I was a fool.  I would have hated the repercussions of telling. 

I think we did what we did to protect ourselves in some way at the time.  I had no threats to keep quiet so that was not a factor. 

Now, if it came out now and people were asked to come forward (as in the current JS case et al) would I come forward.   Possibly yes and possibly no.   I don't know that I would want people to know that part of my life from so long ago that is private.  But then again, despite what the doctor told me, I considered mine minor in relation to others.   Perhaps that's what allowed me to deal with it.

I guess it is easy to form opinions of why people did not come forward at the time.  I felt uncomfortable when I read the postings forming views of that which has prompted me to post an alternative view / reason.

I don't think they can all be lumped together.  Every person is an individual and makes their own decisions.  Some may not be genuine as has been suggested, but there will be many who did not feel they could come forward at the time but perhaps now feel stronger or safer to do so now within the 'protection' of the public enquiry.

Thanks for sharing Meggie - it did give me the courage to post also.

Fx

If they are dead or really really old as in 90 Id not say anything either
Id take the help  and try to put the past behined you
I was a batterd chld mentally and physically in 2002 had enough MUM had died no resolution there
Its not the same but the repercussions are and how you feel about yourself last thing Id ever want is OH poor old oyu
Dont bloody pity me Im fine thanks very much huge hugs Fire respect your desire for privacy only 4 people Know about my childhood beside close family so about 12 people all in None pity me I am me and will allow no one to hurt me ever

[pixie]

It is a very sensitive subject and I feel for anybody that has had to endure it. I don't think it matters how  how old the abusing  person is. By keeping quiet, it allows the person to feel they can merrily get away with it and also progress to abusing others as well. I think it must have taken a lot of soul searching and courage for those to disclose this, but also because some have done it, others have been able to do it because they thought they realised they might be believed. I think of the person who has had that has had to keep the burden of the abuse to themselves all those years and have to deal with it all alone. It must be a tremendous amount of relief for them to unburden this and see the person who has caused them torment get justice i.e. Stuart Hall. It must be a relief also to know that it wasn't their fault because other people have also had to the same abuse. Why should paedophiles like Jimmy Saville have got away with abusing all those people? Also for the public to think he was some kind of saint who deserved to be knighted.  Its just awful that he didn't get punished during his lifetime for his crimes. I

t brings to the publics attention just what can happen to children and makes everyone more aware that this goes on and it should be out in the open and understood and believed by parents. Most people want to be in denial that it happens because they just don't want to believe that such evil exists. If a child came to me and told me about something happening to them, I would listen to them and do my best to help them. I would tell their parents, or safeguarding children team of my local NHS. I would also consider making an annoymous call to social services. I told my mother, about something that nearly happened to me with a male lodger and fortunately I was believed. It was  nipped in the bid before any abuse progressed further. I remember it to this day, she got his case and threw it down the stairs and screamed at him to get lost! It can happen to anybody.