Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[katsclaws]

Ju Ju, my daughter is very good at helping and my husbands cooks and works hard in the garden. I find that because we don't do any housework during the week there is a lot to do at weekends. I suppose when I think of retirement  I hope to be able to potter around and do jobs at a leisurely pace rather than rushing round. It's good that your dad is able to take over all the domestic tasks. Thank goodness things are more equal between a lot of households now.

[bramble]

I get the impression from the original poster that she lives on her own. As I do. And 3-4 hours is the max I spend in a week on housework ie cleaning, washing etc.  I don't count into that time I spend cooking which could be another 4-7 hours in a week. Shopping I get delivered so that only amounts to half an hour/1hour every fortnight. The rest of the time is my own.

[Justjules]

Another one here who hates Sunday evening with a vengeance. I am so desperate to retire but can't even think about it. Have just turned 60, work 4 full days a week but struggle so badly energywise, most days I could cry with frustration.  I did get myself a 'fairy Godcsrubber' as she calls herself, once a fortnight, who also does my ironing and that's been the best investment I've ever made. I still never seem to have enough time just to 'be' and do the things I think I want to do and can't bear that I have to still work at this age and still fit everything in. Am at home with DH and one adult son, see my elderly Mum on a Saturday and then family Sunday late afternoon. DH lost his pension with Equitable Life so unless we win the lottery we're stuffed. I know so many people who never got to enjoy their retirement, my parents included, and that makes me sad. On top of all that, I suffer badly with anxiety and want so much to make the best of what time I have before illness and old age take hold but the damn thing holds me back so yes, I feel it's all work and boring, exhausting Groundhog Day day in, day out, so feel exactly the same but older!

[getting_old]

My Dad worked very long hours and had a lot of maintenance to do on the house, garden and stuff but he always took every opportunity to take a trip whilst most of my parents friends would say they'd do things when they retired. As he died before he got to 60 I'm so glad that he had that attitude and it's one I've had too. Our house may be dusty and scruffy, and our furniture old (but comfy) but so what - you can't take it with you when you go, and I'd rather have memories than a new sofa.

[nearly50]

Must admit the thought of working until I'm 67 does not make me feel good. There's no way I can spend 3 hours a day on public transport, work full time and face teenagers at that age so I will have to re appraise what I'm doing at some point.

[Pennyfarthing]

All those years we were told we could retire at 60 hey?  What a joke.  I will be 65 and it's  not damned fair.

[Dorothy]

I've done jobs I've loved and jobs I haven't, but in the past, even when I had a job I hated, I could do other stuff in the evenings and weekends.  Now, I'm doing a job that is alternately boring and stressful, but when I come home, I am so tired, I can't do anything else!  Weekends, I sleep and do the bare minimum of housework and food shopping.  I think menopause definitely makes a difference.  I'm hoping to be able to find a job I enjoy as I know that would be less tiring.  But also hoping that I will have more energy once I'm finally post menopausal. 

OP, if you don't like your job, try looking for one that is more fulfilling.  Meanwhile, try cutting back on the chores to a minimum.  And if neither of those things help, hold on to the hope that life is better after menopause!

[Justjules]

The thought of changing jobs now at this age is stressful enough. You haven't got the same ooomph and energy or confidence to put into it and unless you're lucky enough to be able to drop days/hours, it's just too much and let's face it, not many employers would even consider taking on anyone over 55 for a start.

As for feeling better post meno?? I feel worse now than I ever did post meno 8 years! Never had the benefit of HRT though so not sure if that's the difference and now too late

So as they say, when the going gets tough, keep going unfortunately!!

[Suzi Q]

Bloody nora ladies. I lived 12.000 miles from my family  i worked 3 jobs.
Looked after family managed 3 shops after stopped nursing i had no var would be out at 630am home 7pm for 18 years know what i did? Employed a cleaner 1 morning a week.
She did the bathrooms the bedrooms the hoovering polishing changed the beds.
Put the washing on then pinned it out she came Fridays best thing i ever did.
Ok we had no takeaways we didnt have holidays every year but it was worth it.
Theres always time. If there isnt blasted Make it. One life one chance dont waste it.😊

[CLKD]

JustJules - why is it too late ?

I have never enjoyed housework.  I would love to have a clean and tidy house.  It might feel like a home  but we are happy together.  When we decide to go out and about we never tell each other we have to do X,Y,Z first - the dust will be here long after we are gone.  In fact I think we have Dust Elves that creep out at night  .

For years I fought agasint having a dishwasher then we were out and about so often that I caved in - once it's loaded the crockery is out of sight until the machine has done it's work.  I also wash up in the sink watching the wild birds on the garden.  I haven't ironed (except funereal clothing) for years  . 

When I retired I thought I would have time to put a brush over the tops of the doors, wash floors weekly, hang out curtains twice a year   

[Pennyfarthing]

As long as my loos are clean and the kitchen food prep area I don't fuss too much.  I used to do a lot more cleaning than I do now and I just can't be bothered. My adult kids  do their own rooms and always have done including clean sheeting, washing etc.

Son always hoovers for me including stairs and landing which used to take me ages. He empties all the bins too.  Daughter does dusting when I tell her. She also does the veg prepping.  I mop the kitchen and  bathroom floor tiles as I actually like doing that.

I like to do the cooking but then I sit down and everybody else takes over for dishwasher/pots etc.

We were talking about this at knitting group last week actually and several ladies said they had almost given up cooking too.  . My friend who works part time as a nurse still has two adult kids living at home and also her husband was made redundant years ago and has never worked since. She says she told them all that she's no longer cooking as she's done it for 38 years for 6 people and she says had enough. Don't blame her!

[CLKD]

Wonder whether her family will step up to the plate PF?

We bought a steam mop for a tenner in an auction last year, one of the best things Himself uses apparently 

[Pennyfarthing]

Wonder whether her family will step up to the plate PF?

We bought a steam mop for a tenner in an auction last year, one of the best things Himself uses apparently 

I think they'll have to .... or starve.   

[Justjules]

JustJules - why is it too late ?

CLKD, was told far too post meno to start HRT and not a good idea to start at 60.....not sure whether that is the answer for me anyway, would just like to know! Just can't cope with being so bone weary and exhausted all the time.

SuziQ, I have a friend like you and she just makes me feel even worse with the energy she has!

[Ju Ju]

Just Jules, I started hrt at 60. I went to see a gynaecologist privately, but she was recommended by my gp. I was desperate as my quality of life was being sucked away. CFS was being suggested at the time. It has really helped, energy wise and symptom wise e.g. Hot flushes and insomnia. But of course there are risks and it is not a cure all. It was an informed choice. The gynaecologist said I was one of those unfortunate to be affected by symptoms long past menopause and that I can carry on 'forever' unless there are health complications. I decided that quality of life was more important than quantity.