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[Katarina]

Hi all!

I new here event thought i have been diagnosed with when i was 29, I went through a lot of tests , scans .... now I am 37 and still the same! I am just wondering if anybody is in a similar situation and also if you know if there are any groups or meeting where you can talk with others (sharing is caring :-))

Thank you

Katarina

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome to MM
My menopause started in my 30s - premature menopause is actually more common than is thought.
I do hope you are on HRT??? 
Have you visited the Daisy network site?
What problems are you encountering? - do share with us as we may be able to help.
DG x

[Katarina]

Hi

And thank you!

Yes, I have a membership on daisy network as well! At the moment most of the conversation seem to be there about egg donors. I posted on it asking if anybody is there from Edinburgh and around but it doesn't seem like that. I guess it will be nice to chat with someone who is in my shoes as well as I really don't know anybody who is in our situation . I think all is just getting hard as all our friends are having babies or expecting one even those who always said that they never want to have kids. I am so happy for them but at the same time so sad and hurt. So it is sometimes even hard to have a conversation with them.

Yes, I am on HRT for years . On pills and patches. Do you hate the look of pharmacists when they see what you are collecting and asking you "are you familiar with these pills and know what to do?"...... seriously?
I have been part of a study in London when I was 30 so o had regular check ups and internal scans, but since that I haven't seen a doctor, so I am wondering if you are seeing specialist as my last specialist was when I was 29 and just told me " you are in menopause, here are pills" and off me go .... no follow up at all.
Do you see your GP or specialist? Do you get bone scans?

[Dancinggirl]

Hi Katarina
I am now 60 and actually stopped HRT about 5 months ago having been on and off it for the last 25 years.
I was lucky, I had my 2 children before the meno hit but I can understand how tough it must be to be surrounded by women having babies.  Neither my older or younger sisters were able to have children due to Crohns and Ulcerative Colitis and they have had to adopt - also my younger sister and her husband now have twin boys through surrogacy.

Reading your posts I feel that some specialist advice and counselling is possibly what you need -  you have been left without moral support by the medical profession and a proper reassessment of everything by a specialist gynae is a good idea - if for no other reason than to get some reassurance.  Ask the GP for a referral and perhaps, as you are in Scotland, try to see Dr. Heather Curry or one of her team - this site is run by her.
I know what you mean about people being patronising - when I first went on HRT at 36, so many people commented “what are you doing taking that stuff?” - then the scares came out and people really did try to put the frighteners on me.  Soon after I stopped HRT back in the summer, I mentioned this to a friend who said “I'm so glad you've stopped that poison”!!!!
I'm sure you know that HRT is, not only, necessary for you but very important until at least the age of 50?

How do the you find the HRT you are taking?  Do you get side effects?  Do you feel the HRT you are using suits you?

I had a bone scan 2 years ago and the comment was ”not too much bone density loss” !!!!!  I've stayed on HRT for as long as possible to look after my bones and to prevent other oestrogen deficiency problems but for me the side effects gradually became too difficult to cope with and this is why I stopped back in the summer.  I'm hoping the years of HRT will have helped for the long term. I still use local vaginal oestrogen and probably will for the rest of my life.

Hopefully there will be other along with support soon.  DG x

[Hurdity]

Hi Katarina

  from me too.

If you are wanting to meet women of a similar age near where you live - there may not be many members from nearby.

However you could put a post up (in the "All things menopause" section which is the most visited) with something in the title to draw their attention - and indicate that you would like to meet up with members from Edinburgh and ask them to pm you? You could also maybe put one up in the off topic chat section - "This and That".

I have long thought that such a facility would be so helpful to many women - judging by what some of you have said - I mean having a forum like this is amazing for advice - and especially information, as well as online support - but nothing beats meeting real women (!) in the same situation and having real conversations and hugs over a coffee or glass of wine!

Hurdity x

[Katarina]

Oh thank you Hurdity and DG

K x

[Lizab]

Hi Katarina! I was officially diagnosed last year, at 38, after a couple years of doctors hinting about it. I get the strange looks too. The most disturbing to me was when checking me in the nurse looking at my records saw my hormone prescription and asked in a shocked and condescending tone "Why are you taking this? You are too young for this." Like I take it for fun, you know. I have found since my diagnosis that lots of women that I know are having early menopause, just no one talks about it. Almost anytime I mention it to friends, they will tell me someone else we know who has been diagnosed as well. Of course it's taken some time to learn this because it doesn't come up in conversation often.

[Katarina]

Awww thank you Liza,

I guess you are right no many people are talking about it!

I think I had my door closed and kind of learn to live with it u till now when suddenly everyone and I mean everyone has a child or is expecting.

Are you still in the same pills?
I never know if I should go to GP for check up if the polls are still suitable for me or at least to see the hormon level .

[Tempest]

Dear Katarina! Bless your heart, and welcome! I'm in Scotland. I'm wondering if it might be possible for you to get a referral outwith of the Lothian & Borders health board to attend Professor Lumsden's Complex Menopause Clinic over at the Glasgow Royal Infirmary? It's certainly worth asking your GP to write,  as HRT implants are available via her clinic and these would benefit you greatly at your age.

We are very fortunate that implants are available here in Scotland - elsewhere in the UK, as far as I know they are only available at the Chelsea & Westminster in London. Please do give this some thought and take this information to your GP - if I can be of any further help if this appeals to you, please don't be afraid to ask.

Hugs,

Tempest xxxx

[Katarina]

Dear Tempest

Thank you so so much for your email, I am so grateful.
I will definitely go and speak to my GP about it.

Thank you again

XXXX

[Dorothy]

Just come across this thread and wanted to send you a huge hug.  I'm now 41, started getting symptoms at 35 but wasn't diagnosed til 39.  I agree that if you want to meet up with people face to face, putting a post up either here or on the Daisy Network might be a good way to start.  A lot of women, especially younger women, tend to keep quiet about what they are going through, so you may find there are some women you actually know who are going through this, but who haven't mentioned it.  People can make so many tactless comments that I have been very wary of letting anyone know, although I am now getting more outspoken.

Are you getting any support or checkups from your GP?  It doesn't sound as if you are getting much help in dealing with this.  I hope the forum can at least make you feel less isolated.  Sending huge hugs. 

P.S. I totally get the baby thing - my cousin has just had a second child when it was thought not to be possible - everyone is going on about how wonderful because how terrible it would have been for her not to be able to have a second baby.  I'm pleased they were able to have the baby of course, and that the little one has arrived safe and well, but at the same time, I'm getting a bit fed up of hearing how terribly traumatic it would have been for them to be limited to just one child.  I feel like telling them to be grateful they had the one because it's one more than some of us get!

[Katarina]

Thank you so much Dorothy

And sending you big hugs too!

Yes, I do need to go back to my GP  to get some chat and see what they can do. Until this page and daisy network i always thought that this is it but I am happy to see that that there is more going on as I still remember when I was diagnosed at 29 and the doctor just said "yes, you are in menopause means no children" ( just after two months with no period, that was me!?) . I couldn't stop crying , even though j was single at that time it was horrible ... Bless the nurses they put me back together there and where so lovely with me as they saw that the doctor just told me fact in no nice way. And since that apart of the trail in London I haven't seen anybody.
I am on Evorel75 plus tablets 200mg for 2 weeks each month hit years.

I think why it all started getting difficult for me again is that my husband's brother and his wife were expecting a baby , they told to everyone apart of me (still don't know why but hey hou) but now the baby is here and allow the expecting a miracle from me that I am going to act as normal!?
They didn't know about my condition until a few months back I told my husband to tell his parents and brother what my condition is , specially when a new baby is arriving ( as you can see I am not that close to my in-laws - unfortunately) .
I am close to all my friends and their babies, babysit then anytime they need to but i think this hit me hard as it is in the family and i can't just stand up and leave or see them when I want to see them like with my friends.

[Dancinggirl]

The lack of sensitivity from some doctors never fails to amaze me - one would expect that a gynae would have some idea of how devastating it is to be told you can't have children at the age of 29.  It is important that those around you know and understand how tough this all is for you and I hope your husband is supportive - it's up to him to explain things to his family and expect them to then be supportive and sensitive to you.
It is also important you fully understand what your body needs and why, as HRT is not perfect and it will be vital you keep an eye on how well your body is coping with the HRT  - and whether HRT is doing it's job - your GP should be helping you over this. If you find your bladder starts playing up or your vaginal area becomes uncomfortable then some extra local (Vaginal) oestrogen should help this - you are on quite a high dose of oestrogen so hopefully this won't be needed.
Society is still so ignorant of POF and menopause problems - things are starting to change but the media often don't make things any easier when they publish so many scares and nonsense. Do take care of yourself and keep us posted  - we are here to support you.  DG x

[Dorothy]

So sorry your doctor was so insensitive.  Must have been a horrible shock for you, especially as it all happened so quickly.  My GP was incredibly tactless telling me too, only fortunately, in my case, I'd been getting more and more worried about my health over the previous 4 years, wondering if I was developing some kind of fatal neurological condition, so the shock of discovering it was meno was offset by relief that I wasn't about to die of something completely hideous!

Your in-laws may not have told you about the baby because they didn't know how to.  I can understand that they must be really excited and happy, and want everyone to share their joy, but it's a shame that they can't be more understanding of how you might feel.  Be gentle with yourself and don't be afraid to give yourself space if you need it to cope.  I've found being involved in my friends' children's lives to be a great help and I have four adorable godchildren, but I know one lady who no longer wanted to be a godmother after finding out she couldn't have her own kids - so something that can comfort one person can make another feel worse.  I guess it's just about finding what helps you.

[Katarina]

Thank you DG and Dorothy for listening , it helps a lot.

Xxx