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[lg0053]

Hello everyone,

I am new here and feel alone in all of this. I am 51 and have the support of a lovely husband and teenage son but they cannot understand this menopause business. I have become very anxious, very low in mood, very tearful and have that 'brain fog'. I work full time and struggled yesterday to even do anything that required an amount of concentration. Can anybody relate to this and what worked for you? Thank you.

[Lostit]

Hi, I am in a similar position, lovely caring husband and teenage daughter. Thought I was coping well with this menopause thing until January.  Crippled with anxiety, panic attacks and periods of nausea.  I can't plan anything because I never know how bad I will be. I was put on citalopram which caused me to end up in hospital. CBT did not work for me because the cause is chemical(hormonal) so no amount of talking is going to help. I  feel lonely and trapped in my own world of despair.  I cannot take HRT because of previous breast cancer. I take magnesium  and b complex in the hope these will.help in the long run. The gp has given me propanol  (beta blocker) and these are helping with the panic attacks. Sorry I can't be more positive for you, but you are not alone in these horrible symptoms.  I hope you can find something that works for you. Try anything and everything.  Hugs.x

[Jellyb]

Hi lg0053
I am currently coming off my HRT and feel the same, although I haven't experienced any anxiety (yet).  But, I do have the low feeling and tearfulness.
I also work full time and am finding it hard to concentrate some days.  My head feels like it's being gently squeezed and I have a "fog", I sit and stare at my PC screen for ages trying to get the motivation to actually do something, and to stop myself crying.
My female colleagues all know what I'm going through and are very supportive, but I know that I can't spend the rest of my working life in the toilets weeping.
So, yes, I completely relate to what you're going through.  I don't have any magic solutions unfortunately, just take one day at a time.

[Urbanchick]

Totally sympathise.  I feel I haven't been truly 'happy' for over 2 years.   Health anxiety comes and goes and cripples me at times.  I am trying to halve my oestrogen dose as feel I should try and do without at some point - I found the anxiety just as bad without so only use it for the heart, etc benefits.     I recently had a 10 day 'window' with no health niggles and I experienced my first surge of joy for years - that actually made me realise how low and 'coasting' I have become.

I keep telling myself it will pass - there are, after all, a lot of happy women out there in their 60s, 70s and 80s!

[CLKD]

It's The Change!  Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary helpful.  Forgetfulness arrives with the territory, we have a thread 'doing stupid things'  .

Browse round.  Make notes.     Decide which symptoms you need to tackle first and have a chat with your GP/Practice Nurse, however, some are keen to prescribe anti-depressant medication when HRT may be more helpful!

[Lizab]

Yes, I can relate, and HRT seems to have been the magic potion for me. Lots of ladies get by with supplements designed for menopause. I think there's a non-hrt section on the forum that may have some ideas. Many use anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds, either alone or in conjunction with HRT.

Not that it gives any real insight into how long you can expect before this passes, but do you know how far along you are? Post-menopausal with not periods or still in the peri menopausal stages? Rumor has it that it does all settle eventually 

[warwick01]

Yes - can relate to your suffering.

I am 57 now using 3pumps of oestrogel with separate prog. I was at my very worse this time last year.Could not leave the house due to anxiety, panic. It was dreadful. The other symptom I had was dizziness/off balance feeling which made my anxiety worse.

I gave up work 2 years ago but feel really guilty. Although my husbands supports me doesn't understand how bad the menopause can be. Just hopeing I have turned a corner and things will improve

Hang in there and feel free to pm me if you need any support

Wxx

[samweller161]

Dear LG003, please don't feel alone, I can assure you that you are most definitely not! Have you spoken to a menopause professional?  I found one from this site, she was absolutely lovely, gave me the facts, changed my prescription too as she said the GPs are exactly that "general" practitioners and don't know the detail about menopause.  My daughter in law and I take the same make of HRT actually, although her dose is higher than mine as she's had ovaries removed.  I also take anti-anxiety meds to supplement it which seems to work.  I think diet and exercise play a large part as well, I try not to eat (too much) sugar and I haven't eaten meat for years but that's just a personal choice.  I wouldn't bother with the Menopace tablets or whatever chemists sell - but again, that's only personal opinion, if they work for you, then go for it.
I hold down a fairly large job although there are some days when sitting at my desk is the last thing I want to do.  I battle on though as I don't want this to beat me!  That might be wrong
Apols for rambling! xxx

[jangadang]

Just wanted to say thanks to all who have posted. I now know I'm not alone either. Sometimes think I'm going mad!! Like you say looking at the screen at work- day dreaming- mind blank, probably miserable face. Seems like I'm being isolated at work, don't really care about anything. I am on 20mg Citalopram have been for 2 years, came off for 2 months and had melt down, back on now for 2 months. My husband is so supportive and understanding but I'm a real cow to him. poor guy. lol. I started with period changes when I was 45, haven't had a period for 4 years now and have had the hot flushes for about 5 years. I'm 53 now and wondering if it will ever end!
Any advice?
Thanks
Jan

[CLKD]

Have a buzz word for your husband to throw at you as he leaves the room so that you know you are OTT!
You may find that the AD doesn't work the same if you have had a break. 

[jangadang]

Thanks,
Buzzword not a bad idea. I bet he could recommend some lol.xx

[CBA]

Hello Jangadang

I feel your pain! I've been taken off HRT due to thickened womb lining - I may not be able to take it again   

I work full time and can't reduce my hours as I need the money. I work in higher education and teach and lead on a few courses. My memory loss/brain fog is worse when I'm teaching than in any other part of my job. I can cope with the administrative tasks okay as these are something I can do in my more alert time (I have a very small alert window early in the morning!) and as such don't cause me so much anxiety.

My anxiety worsens before lectures and when reading/planning for lectures. And I think this must contribute to not being able to retain information the way I used to. I used to be able to make intellectual links between student feedback and the subject matter but often now I just feel myself go blank. It's a really scary feeling.

I've had a colleague observe me and she said that whatever it is im feeling isn't observable. I try and turn things into a bit of a joke with the students - you know... what's that word I'm looking for? Ignore my rule and start googling..! Etc. My god it's hard work though.

I used to run on adrenaline but now the anxiety I feel doesn't come with that sort of kick start boost of nerves...it just sits there and dulls me instead.

If it's any help to you it may be worth speaking with HR and asking if there are any policies in place to support women going through the meno. It's unlikely there will be but you could at least advise them that you are having a difficult time and is there anything the employer can do to support you? They have a LEGAL duty of care towards you which includes supporting your emotional health and wellbeing. Also talk to your manager? My manager is a guy - he listened, nodded, panicked and ran away but at least I feel I've covered my arse in case students complain about scatty crap teaching (so far no complaints so maybe my perception of myself isn't what others perceive?).

You aren't alone with this. It's an awful feeling and I'm sending you a big hug   

Jx

[CLKD]

You could say CBA "I'm feeling menopausal today so need extra reminders as my mind is fuzzy" ….. that will shock your students into behaving!

  we have threads about 'doing stupid things' and 'that woman has moved into my house' ;-)

[CBA]

Hi CLKD

I keep wondering about whether to just come clean with the students and mention my menopause... but I just can't do it! I'm not sure why... 

I think it's really hard on women who have to work with the meno - we have workplace policies for pregnancy and new mothers and reasonable adjustments can be made....but not with the hormone hell of the meno.

And a lot of us feel very scared to talk about it in case we are seen as weak by our male colleagues, or it's used against us somehow.

Stupid menopause 

Jx

[CLKD]

How old are your students and is it a mixed-sex situation?  Depending on what your subject is, maybe drop menopause into the lesson    - browse round!