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[Dorothy]

Best Christmas I ever had was when I invited a few people who were going to be on their own and dreading it.  We had a fantastic time - so much fun.  This year I have convinced my mother to let me invite an uncle and aunt who were on their own and not looking forward to it. 

If I didn't have my mother to look after, I think I'd help at one of the local community Christmas lunches.  Being on your own for Christmas is lovely if it is your own choice, like Bramble.  But no one should be on their own when they don't want to be.

[CLKD]

I agree Dorothy.  Apparently 'crisis at C.mas' is year round ………. so probably require volunteers ? 

1 year Dad invited a friend of his for C.mas lunch and because of my anxiety I was really cross.  But the friend had no family at all and he arrived with flowers for my Mum and it turned out OK.  He died during the next year so I was pleased that Dad had reached out.

We have a drop in centre in the town but it's a 25 mile round trip so can't offer my services due to my anxiety 

[Pennyfarthing]

Christmas can be difficult.  I've not seen my kids since 1996, due to my ex (yes I've done and tried everything but when one partner turns the kids against the other, well....! It's called "Parental Alienation") they are in their 30's now. 

New Year is also difficult, my daughters birthday New Years Day.... Oh well. such is life eh.

Sorry To read that about your kids Louisa. That's a very long time not to see them. 

I know a woman and she fell out with her parents 15 years ago over something and nothing.  In that time they've had family weddings, five grandchildren,  christenings, celebration parties etc and not once did she invite her parents.  They had never met any of their great grandchildren.
Her mother sent her birthday and Xmas cards all those years and she never responded. 

a few months ago her elderly mum died and believe it or not the daughter then got back in touch with her Dad who is also very elderly because she just wants whatever he's going to leave.

It is particularly sad because all those 15 years the oldies went to the Salvation Army Xmas meals to help out because their daughter didn't want to know them.  all those wasted years!!

Will think of you on Xmas Day xx

[CLKD]

Maybe the Dad will see 'through' the sudden presence? or maybe she had a different relationship with him before the fall-out?

Louisa -  ……….

[getting_old]

I really wouldn't mind being alone on Christmas Day. I've always been quite happy spending time alone, and the Christmases with my mother and the in-laws were my worst ever - definitely endured rather than enjoyed. I used to sit counting the minutes until we could leave. DH insists we have a proper Christmas meal but if it was just me I'd eat whatever I felt like, watch junk on TV, and walk the dog.

[CLKD]

'endure' - exactly how I felt 

[SadLynda]

we 'have' to go to Aunties, and eat when and what 'she' wants to eat. Its a nightmare, and the oNLY reason I still do it is when I did try stopping contact with said Auntie she made my mothers life a misery, so while my Mum is still here I have to tow the line.

I would love for DH and I to be alone, we would eat what we wanted and when we wanted it.  We would probably eat out which is something my Mum always wanted to do too.

still there is Christmas eve and Boxing day to enjoy.  Christmas Eve is to be spent with my daughter and 'hopefully' new Granddaughter (due date in 9 days)

[CLKD]

That'll be a C.mas Baby then  ………

[babyjane]

Emotion blackmail and bullying of family members makes me sad and angry in equal measure     .  What gives people the right to exert such a hold over other adult members of their family and what makes us so impotent and unable to stand up for ourselves and be assertive.  I wish I knew 

[CLKD]

Tradition Babyjane.  Emotional blackmail ……… habits ……….  keeping others 'happy'. 

[babyjane]

Keeping others happy has dogged me all my life.  I am starting to learn that the happiness of others really is not my responsibility.

[Louisa]

Christmas can be difficult.  I've not seen my kids since 1996, due to my ex (yes I've done and tried everything but when one partner turns the kids against the other, well....! It's called "Parental Alienation") they are in their 30's now. 

New Year is also difficult, my daughters birthday New Years Day.... Oh well. such is life eh.

Sorry To read that about your kids Louisa. That's a very long time not to see them. 

I know a woman and she fell out with her parents 15 years ago over something and nothing.  In that time they've had family weddings, five grandchildren,  christenings, celebration parties etc and not once did she invite her parents.  They had never met any of their great grandchildren.
Her mother sent her birthday and Xmas cards all those years and she never responded. 

a few months ago her elderly mum died and believe it or not the daughter then got back in touch with her Dad who is also very elderly because she just wants whatever he's going to leave.

It is particularly sad because all those 15 years the oldies went to the Salvation Army Xmas meals to help out because their daughter didn't want to know them.  all those wasted years!!

Will think of you on Xmas Day xx

Thanks pennyfarthing, I used to send them cards and received solicitors letters demanding that I stop.  I just have to stay positive.

[SadLynda]

That'll be a C.mas Baby then  ………

I had hoped so, one way of getting me out of it.  But alas not the case.  C-section booked for tomorrow

[CLKD]

  ……… you'll be pacing the floor tonight then?  Boottees knitted and ready 

[Joyce]

Fingers crossed for a safe delivery SadLynda!