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[jazzcj]

Hello everyone I'm new and I guess you can say that I am losing myself and feeling very alone.  I am married, 52, just, have an 11 year old daughter, a small dog and life should be good.  Much of the time I feel very distant from everyone and everything.  I spend a great deal of time in a fog as if I'm in there and looking out at people from some distance.  I am tired all the time, ache terribly, forget things a lot, not good when you have a fairy responsible job.  Wondering how long I'll be able to do it for without people questioning my ability if they haven't already!  I can't concentrate and find having a conversation very difficult at times.  I feel a sense of deep depression some of the time, like I want to run away, other times I'm not too bad.  I want to cry but sometimes I can't I'm too numb!  I have no libido.  My poor hubby what he has to put up with. sometimes I feel like I could just scream. I panic, I get very anxious, and can't deal with any stress without becoming very low.  I get bloated, and very uncomfortable.  I cannot tolerate alcohol.  Life is just pants a lot of the time.  I just don't know what to do.  My GP has sent me for a chest xray because I get breathless.  Ive just had loads of bloods taken.  Back to GP on Friday. Just what do I say, what shall I ask for.  I am lost. Thanks for reading if you are still with me!!!

[Annie0710]

Hi and welcome !

Everything you say sounds typical of menopause .  Where are you at regarding periods (regular/missed etc)?

Are you taking anything at the moment or are you hoping for hrt ?

We have some very knowledgable women here and they can help you ready for your appt

Always feel you can 'let it out' here, whether a rant or a shoulder to cry on, we will help you all you can

Big hugs
Annie xx

[diva]

My goodness Jazzcj,

I could have written that myself!

You have come to the right place. Everyone here is so welcoming and understanding and it feels good to talk to people who understand how you feel.

I am off work at the moment with shortness of breath, waiting for results of chest x rays. Did you know that menopause can trigger asthma, something to do with the drop in estrogen. Hormones and the auto immune system are very closely related so allergies can appear that never existed before. I am not sure that this is what is happening but it is a thought.

As for the confusion - I share your pain. Like you, I have a very responsible job and fear that I appear full of holes, forgetting things and endlessly searching for lost words in the middle of a sentence. My job is very stressful, but my ability to deal with that has disappeared.

I guess what I am saying is that it all sounds very typical Menopausal and you are not alone.

I have made the decision to try HRT because I just cannot function any more like this. I would have to stop work or risk being deemed incompetent. Not saying it is the right route for you, but having read up on this forum and other places, and talking to some of the ladies on here I think it is not as scary as I may have thought before.

Let us know what happens.
x

[Kathleen]

Hello jazzcj and welcome to the forrum.

I am 58 now but my menopause problems really took off when I was about your age. I put up with all sorts of difficulties for 3 years before asking my GP for HRT. I've had my ups and downs since then but I regret leaving things as long as I did before getting help.

There are many knowledgeable ladies on this site who can advise you and I hope your Doctor is one of the sympathetic ones! 

Wishing you well and keep posting.

K.

[Spadger]

  Hi Jazzcj, bless you - I think many of us on here can identify with how you're feeling.  It is worth a trip to the docs and I hope yours is one of the good ones who will let you take your time and try to explain how you feel, I haven't tried HRT yet but am thinking about it. 
There is always someone amazing on here who will turn up and post something really helpful - sadly I am not one of them, I am currently drowning in my own little puddle of confusion and do not feel I can help other than to say you are definitely not alone :-)
Love Spadger x

[Taz2]

   Jazzcj.

Spadger - have a 

Taz x

[Spadger]

thanks for the hug Taz2   
group hug everyone xxx

[TropicalVon69]

Hi J....yip more of the same here too....sorry you're feeling pants just now....feeling exactly the same to be honest.....hugs sent your way xxx

[pepperminty]

Hi Jazzcj,

you have just described many women's experience of menopause /perimenopause very eloquently.

You have taken the first step going to see your GP , which is brilliant. There are lots of things you can do to help.

This is a link to a really good lecture by Dr Annie Evans about the menopause , it will answer a lot of questions   

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1RtnxKy8TI.

It is posted on U tube. Please watch it , it will really help explain things . Its in 3 easy segments of 10 mins.

Feeling like this is completely normal at this time. It's all hormonal.

Trying HRT can be a really positive step. Lots of ladies use it very successfully. Femoston comes in 2 strengths  1/10 and 2/10 and it is the kindest one to start off on. Less likely to cause any side effects. Incidentally not all women get side effects. If you are worried about HRT the video as mentioned above will help put everything into perspective.

There are many different types of HRT , tablets, gels and patches . Femoston is the tablet form.
There is lots of information on the site about the different types , have a good read and ask questions here if you need to. It's easy to start with the tablets .
You need to take HRT for 3 months for it to bed in and help to override your hormones , and it hopefully should put you on a more even keel.

Do be kind to yourself. If you need to talk ask your GP to refer you to the NHS counselling
service. It's good to unload.

Try mindfulness meditation, it does work for anxiety and lots of ladies here use it.
It's a really difficult time and your hormones are on a roller coater ride and taking you with them. We all know how you feel.

Peppermintyxx

[Hurdity]

Hi jazzcj  from me too!

Hurdity x

[CLKD]

   read the Menus, top of screen, make notes: take to GP.  Keep a food/mood diary too often helps ladies as they struggle to find sense of changing hormone levels.

We have threads of memory loss, doing stupid things, a humorous section (There's a Strange Woman in  my House), we talk about practically everything 

[jazzcj]

Thank you everyone for making me feel less alone.  I haven't had a period for about 6 or 7 months but I've gone that long and then had one big humdinger, then a few here and there, spotting and then a long break.  Is it worth talking to our workplace or does that just help enforce judgemental thinking or discrimination even though I know it shouldn't.  I am going to ask for hrt I think.  I was put on antidepressants when diagnosed with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia about 5 years ago.  A consultant at guys said he thought it was more cfs but all I knew was that I wasn't coping at all well.  I often feel like I cannot give my daughter the attention she deserves.  I also feel really paranoid at times.  It seems many of you have very similar symptoms.  I am having so many rows with my hubby and he just doesn't seem to realise that when I tell him I have these symptoms its not just me being moody.  I have a major day at work tomorrow and I just know I am going to get irritable, lose my words, ability to express myself and think straight and you know the rest.  Just hoping hrt helps.  Again thanks ladies and I'm sticking around  😌 Jan xxx

[CLKD]

Have you printed off the advice for husbands from the Forum 
HORMONES - especially if you have a youngster around the place 
NO need to have rows.  Have a buzz word! something husband can throw at you before he leaves the room?

As for telling your workplace, really does depend on your type of job.

[diva]

Hope your big day on Monday went well jazzcj,

It would be worth talking to work if you have some kind of medical cover. We have a degree of private medical cover as one of our benefits. I spoke to them a couple of weeks ago when I was at rock bottom and it was through them that I found this place. Our cover is aimed at minimizing time taken off work and is a confidential service that operates outside of HR etc - so nothing is shared with those you actually work with.

If you have something like this I would definitely talk to them. Talk to the GP too. Ladies here gave me the advice to prepare what I was going to say, list my symptoms and I printed some stuff off from this forum and other places.

How did results of your x ray go?  Mine seems to be asthma related, which can be triggered by the menopause!

I shared some of the posts here and some newspaper and magazine articles with my husband so that he could see it was not just me.

I do hope you feel better soon
x

[CJ-sleepless]

Welcome from me too - I'm thankful every day that I found this forum - I don't post every day, but in times of need there's always someone who can relate to whatever symptom or crisis we face