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Menopause Matters magazine ISSUE 75 out now. (Spring issue, March 2024)

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Author Topic: Care in old age and how to pay  (Read 11501 times)

Taz2

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #30 on: January 30, 2015, 08:39:00 PM »

I'm lost - what's totally out of order? Dental care?

Taz x  :-\
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honeybun

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #31 on: January 30, 2015, 10:10:46 PM »

I think the fact that what used to be normal dental care is now considered cosmetic.

At least that's how I understood it.


Honeyb
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Taz2

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #32 on: January 30, 2015, 10:38:05 PM »

Ah yes - I agree! I thought you meant that CLKD was out of order  ;
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honeybun

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #33 on: January 31, 2015, 08:16:07 AM »

Oh sorry CLKD, that just reads wrong. I was actually agreeing with you.

 :wub:

Hate the written word or at least the way I write it......I am such a diddy sometimes.


Honeyb
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Dancinggirl

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #34 on: January 31, 2015, 08:35:55 AM »

Stellajane - I do agree - the building doesn't necessarily reflect the care but we all need aesthetic surroundings for our mental wellbeing.  On the day my mother-in-law had to go into the home, my husband, his sister and I planned the day like a military operation to reduce her distress.  I collected her and took her for a day with her grandchildren while my husband and his sister collected  certain bits of furniture and possessions we knew were important to her e.g. books, pictures, favourite bedding etc and arranged the room in the nursing home to look as much like her flat as possible - tried to create home from home. We all found it a very traumatic day as nobody wants to have to put a loved one in a home - the guilt is terrible. We hadn't been able to get her to eat or drink properly and she wouldn't let social services help her so we didn't have any choice as none of us had suitable homes for her to stay with us. Within weeks she had plumped up and looked so much better.
The slow, dwindling stage of dementia is horrible to see and it's the thing I most dread happening to me - we simply don't know whether someone is experiencing mental or physical distress with this type of disease/illness.
DG x
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CLKD

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #35 on: January 31, 2015, 10:55:33 AM »

PHEW!

yep 7 years is the magic number apprently, so far Mum has out-lived it  ::)

ype, people less qualified will be paid less ....... remember that years ago we had 'auxillary' nurses in hospitals, apparently that level of care has now gone.  Those were the girls who didn't want to take exams but were happy to give 'care' ...... a cuppa in the early hours, holding hands when required; now nurses have to take degrees - of course technology has moved on so it is to be expected that education must cover the understanding of such technology but to cut out the lower orders ....... leaves a HUGE gap.

These girls then moved into care homes to continue giving care - then money stepped in, Companies became involved offering 'health care' from as stated, plush buildings.  However, as often with Hotels, 'front of house' looks good, upstairs maybe not  :-\
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Hurdity

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #36 on: January 31, 2015, 05:46:10 PM »

Surroundings are especially crucial to people with dementia - research has shown for example that strong patterns on clothing/wallpaper can evoke certain troubling memories and affect mood - so yes they matter as much to these people as with everyone else.

Hurdity x
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Mrs January

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #37 on: February 01, 2015, 11:52:10 AM »

Hi Ladies

I am about to put my house in trust to both my children. This way they get the home and money if they choose to sell it and the government cannot use it to fund my care fees later on......

Hope it helps

Ms January x
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Dancinggirl

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #38 on: February 01, 2015, 12:26:00 PM »

Mrs. January - I didn't think we were allowed to do this anymore but perhaps a trust can sort this in some way? I'm sure this is very expensive to set up as well. Maybe any care fees will come out of the inheritance or when the house is sold?  The government keeps finding way to stop people avoiding payment for care so it's getting harder and harder to find legal ways to do this.
My husband and I certainly plan to downsize at some stage to pass as much as possible to our kids to avoid inheritance tax and money going on our care.   DG x
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honeybun

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #39 on: February 01, 2015, 04:09:57 PM »

My son has told me if I ever need full time care then he will pick me out a nice care home  ;D. He did make me laugh. At his age....old age seems like another land...when you reach your 50/60s time seems to be speeding up.

I know it's daft but it's not really something I even want to consider at the moment. I see how frail my mother has become and to be honest this whole getting older thing scares me. Burying my head in the sand won't help at all but in reality apart from a house what other assets do most people have.
Council homes around my area are generally very good so that's one thing anyway.

Has anyone considered equity release. I keep getting emails about it. Don't think its a terrible good idea and I'm not old enough anyway but if I ever became very short of money it might be worth a look.


Honeyb
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Mrs January

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #40 on: February 01, 2015, 04:48:58 PM »

Hi

I am just about to take out a new mortgage and the company suggested' to trust to my children' also our pension advisor told me too about three years ago.

This will prevent the house being used to fund my care fees and also to avoid the ex taking it from them. A friend of mine has  neighbour in care but the grandson lives in this house three nights a week and it is all legal so the house can't be sold to fund care fees x
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Joyce

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #41 on: February 01, 2015, 06:19:16 PM »

Maybe need to look into it further HB. Maybe there would a way round your mum's house being used for fees as it actually belongs to you & your sister. After all you may want to keep it on & rent it out.
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CLKD

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #42 on: February 02, 2015, 12:54:38 PM »

A 'trust' fund works until the person funding the money dies - my Mum has 1 which pays an annual dividend to me and my sister until she dies when it stops. 

If you have had advice Mrs J that should work well.  AgeUK has leaflets on equity release - I think the property is sold to the Company and the 'owner' lives there, it's who covers maintenance, property and contents insurances, heating etc. that needs careful checking.  I don't know if the 'owner' has to then pay rent/rates ………… worth looking into, no one 'has' to make decisions and there are several Companies that offer it.

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rosebud57

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #43 on: February 03, 2015, 09:52:16 AM »

My husband and his sisters husband are taking out a 'power of attorney' for my father in law.  He is getting really forgetful and having trouble remembering to pay his bills.  The trouble is he is getting worse very fast and goodness knows what he will be like this time next year.  My sister in law says 'he won't go into a home', but I'm wondering if this is because she is more concerned about her inheritance than his safety.

I have decided to take a back seat as am sure any advice I might give will be taken in the wrong way.
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Dancinggirl

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Re: Care in old age and how to pay
« Reply #44 on: February 03, 2015, 10:24:34 AM »

Stellajane - I agree with you entirely.  Having seen the devastating effects of dementia with my mother-in-law (she did a power of attorney in plenty of time) we all need to prepare in case this happens to us.  Unfortunately my mother won't countenance giving us power of attorney - she wouldn't dream of relinquishing any control.  We are in for trouble!!!!! :-X

We none of us know what the future brings.  We are planning to avoid as much inheritance tax as possible so we can at least leave our son(with slight special needs) more safe and secure  However if we downsize we would still have a property that could fund our care if need be.  Also I would downsize to something that might enable us to stay in our home for longer anyway.  I think it is bonkers to expect to stay in a large house that is unsuitable as we get more frail.
What we would be sad about is perhaps having to leave our village.  What I feel is really needed are more assisted living homes in all areas so people can stay in communities they know and it is easier to give support. I personally think there should be tax breaks for those who are prepared to downsize, releasing family homes for young families.  At present the assisted living type flats and houses are not ideal in their set up and need to be made more attractive. 
My husband and I walk round our lovely village and point at houses on large plots and dream about pulling down the (frankly ugly) house and putting 4-6 retirement cottages there for us to move to along with some of our neighbours in 10-15 years time. At the recent 'Village Plan' meeting, assisted living homes were put forward but apparently when someone tried to include these in a recent housing development it was rejected - 'affordable houses' were preferred even though there aren't any jobs for youngsters in this area unless they have a car!!!!!
DG x
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