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[babyjane]

I can't advise you what to do but I know what I would do in your situation.  You are next of kin, this is your mother.  Your SIL is not even related to this lady except by marriage.  This situation is wrong and I would seek professional (legal) advice maybe from the citizen's advice bureau if your SIL is actively preventing you from having contact with your mother.  I rather think the social services or your mum's GP would be interested to hear of this development as well.

[CLKD]

I agree with Babyjane. 

This woman appears to be after the money! 

When does Power of Attorney kick in?  Maybe change the locks on your Mum's house [which we did for mine, long story short] and have a key-pad on a need to know basis?  In recent weeks we've changed that number too as she was giving it out to all and sundry and we felt that her security had again been compromised [longer story short].

I would ring your Mum's GP and ask for advice, he may be able to let you know what did the Hospital advise B4 her discharge?  Certainly it's time that he/she knows the full picture in case your Mum becomes even more confused.  I would ring the Ward Sister and ask who spoke to your Mum so that you can have a chat with her/him?  Time that a Social Worker was involved. 

A Solicitor could be instructed to put a restraining order on your brother/s.  Do you or your Mum have a family Solicitor?  Despite the issue of a newspaper delivery, it could be stressed that either they visit when the Social Worker or yourself are there ……. it would need to be worded so that your brother/s didn't turn it so that you are forbidding access which is really what you need to do 

Well done the Niece!    maybe once this brother has thought over what has been said he might buck his ideas up!

[CLKD]

I expect your situation could be happening all over PF.  Replicated many times.   Maybe a similar thread in the New Year in Private Lives area?

 

Would your Mum's GP be someone who should know that your have Power of Attorney?

[Pennyfarthing]

Thank you all for your support. I have removed most stuff on here now just in case.  If anybody wants to PM me that's OK but I don't want it all in public. Xx

[CLKD]

That's fine! 

[Pennyfarthing]

That's fine!

Thanks. I didn't even realise there was a PRivate Lives area. 

[CLKD]

If you press Menopause Matters Forum (in black) it will show all the 'rooms' that are available. Private Lives is for those who have been here for a while ;-).

[Pennyfarthing]

Posts within Private Lives can only be viewed by members.
It can't be viewed by non members lurking.

Thanks. I will update on there. X

[Pennyfarthing]

I'm just going to post over there

[CLKD]

>wave< found you 

[CLKD]

Mum has mentioned feeling the need to get up in the night to pee: something she never did: since her discharge home following a recent fall.  I have looked on her Surgery web-site to see if there is a Continence Nurse attached to the Practice but it doesn't specify other than a physio..

Difficult to raise the subject although she was always open about periods etc..  Her GP is visiting her in the morning but I don't expect she will tell him it wasn't on the list we devised over the 'phone yesterday  . 

I expect I will write to her with suggestions ....... i.e. pads, bedding etc..  I wonder if she has atrophy or similar 

[Ju Ju]

Mum and Dad are ringing up regularly to see how I am. DH has taken over talking to them when I am particularly breathless as it sounds even worse over the phone and of course then they worry even more. I did chat last night and Mum as usual gave me all details of her ailments and that of her friends, before handing the phone to Dad. I had to prompt him to let me know if he had the results of a barium meal Xray he had had. He has had problems swallowing, choking and coughing for some time. They found there is a narrowing constriction. His GP said it was unlikely to be cancer as he has been having problems for a while and it would have got worse. He felt it was more likely to be due to aging. A biopsy will taken, but apparently they they can stretch the area, but it would have to be done every year. Doesn't sound very pleasant. Dads 92.

[Ju Ju]

I'm so sorry for him. He loves his food. He has already lost his sense of smell, now this. I hope he doesn't have to resort to puréed food, but perhaps he'll have to eventually,

[Ju Ju]

Mums ill again. Just heard. Hives, low blood pressure, collapse not fully conscious, vomiting and incontinence. Poor Dad has had a time of it looking after her. He made the decision not to call for help, as last time she went to hospital she lay on a trolley for hours before getting a bed and they did very little for her as she started to recover. It was very stressful for them both. I'm supporting him in this decision as she is following the normal pattern and is showing signs of getting slightly better. Dads said if things deteriorate he will ring for an ambulance. I have encouraged him to ring the doctor though, who would rather keep Mum home if possible. I'm worried about Dad too. And I can't go and help as I'm not well. I couldn't even drive safely at the moment.

[Menomale]

Hi Ju Ju,

Just sending lots of hugs and wishing you and your mum and dad a quick recovery. These are very stressful situations! Your mum is lucky to have your dad to take care of her, he will find the strength to deal with this. "When sorrows come they come not single spies, but in battalions..." My 89 y/o father is worth a whole regiment...